


Reboot and Try Again

by n00dl3Gal



Series: Ultimate Revival Universe [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Execution, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Follows the NISA Dub, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I'm not kidding about the spoilers part, Kazue "Take a fucking sip babes" Akamatsu, Killing Game Aftermath, Love Confessions, M/M, Multi, New Dangan Ronpa V3 Spoilers, Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Past Character Death, Past Relationship(s), Post Game, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rating May Change, Robots, Self-Harm, Slice of Life, Slightly - Freeform, Slow Burn, Smoking, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, What-if Killing Game, alter ego, major ndrv3 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-30
Updated: 2018-09-27
Packaged: 2019-02-08 14:03:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 30,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12866076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/n00dl3Gal/pseuds/n00dl3Gal
Summary: Season 53 of the hit reality TV show "Danganronpa" left behind three survivors, not that the world at large knew that.But Shuichi was determined to make it four.(Or: Shuichi, Maki, Himiko, and Keebo struggle to find their place in a post-killing game world. After all, they're not the same Ultimates as they were in the school. Slow burn Saiibo. Continuation coming out October 29.)





	1. The End of Danganronpa

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, thank you so much for clicking on this fic. I've been planning this since before the English release of V3 was out, and I wanted to work on it and have it published once most people would stop caring about spoilers. 
> 
> Secondly, this fic will eventually contain Saiibo. And other ships. But mostly, it will be about four teenagers unsure of what they really are. 
> 
> Special thanks to Konpeki Rei, MustardPig, and avadonians for their support.

Shuichi Saihara was done with Danganronpa. They manipulated his emotions, past, personality- the lives of him and all his friends- used them, lined them up like cattle for the butcher. If he never heard from them again, it would be too soon. He was completely and utterly done with anything related to it.

Unfortunately, they weren’t done with him.

He stares blankly ahead as they rattle off the reward money he would be receiving; the therapists they recommended; how, despite the show being dead, their _names_ were now property of Team Danganronpa. Maki stands silent by his side, and Himiko worms her hand into his. He lets her and squeezes. Everyone else was dead. Dead for the sake of entertainment. Even Keebo.

God, _Keebo._ It wasn’t his fault he was the pawn of Team Danganronpa. Tsumugi may have said he was controlled by the audience, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t his own _person._ And they wiped him clean, purged his AI, and destroyed his-

Wait.

“And of course, should the show be renewed, you’ll be appearing at events-” One of the employees prattles on, flipping through a contract Shuichi doesn’t remember signing. Somewhere in the muddled lingo, he finds his voice.

“Keebo was- his AI was created by you?” It comes out like a question. The anxiety they implanted him with- was it implanted? Or did he always have it?- is still shaking him.

The woman pauses and pushes up her glasses. They’re nearly identical to the ones Tsumugi wore. “Yes, that is correct,” she says slowly.

Shuichi gulps. “Then you must have a backup of it. E-especially after he was hijacked, a system like his would’ve automatically saved before a reset,” he says. Next to him, Maki stiffens. She must’ve figured it out.

“That is also true,” another employee confirms. His Team Danganronpa pin nearly blinds Shuichi when he turns to face him.

“Then I would like a copy of that AI.”

The female employee laughs. “What makes you think that we would give you an AI like that? What use would you even have for something like that?”

“First of all, he’s my friend. You made certain of that when you-you _programmed_ us.” Shuichi spits out the words like they’ll kill him otherwise. “Secondly, you have no use for him anymore. Danganronpa is dead. At least with us, he’d be- he’d be able to be _himself_ again.” Maki places a hand on his shoulder, and he finally makes eye contacts with the people torturing him for at least a month now. “Lastly, I could buy the AI off of you. You’re giving me the money, after all.”

The man raises an eyebrow. “And where would you even keep such an AI-”

“Alter Ego.”

It’s not Shuichi who speaks, but Maki. “In the original Danganronpa game, Chihiro Fujusaki built an AI into a laptop- Alter Ego. That same technology was put into use for the virtual world Miu created and the resulting trial. You could easily install Keebo onto a computer for us to use.”

“Nyeh! That’s right!” Himiko lets go of Shuichi’s hand and curls it into a ball by her chest. “If you could create the killing game, you can create another Alter Ego!”

“How do you know it would be the same K1-B0 you came to know?” The woman sneers, enunciating each character of the name with a grimace. _They don’t even consider him to be real. He’s just a tool to them. We’re all tools to them._ “The AI was purged. All the money you have, including your winnings, wouldn’t be enough to restore the memory and personality flawlessly.”

“But-but if… if the killing game, if this really was a season of a TV show…” Himiko says, “and he was the camera for the outside world, then recordings of his experience must exist! You could upload those as Keebo’s memory and he’d be the same!” Shuichi allows himself a smile. Himiko was never that fond of the robot, but she wanted him back all the same. He was still their friend, after all.

“Even if that were to fail for some reason,” Shuichi continues, “when a file is deleted off of a computer, it’s not completely destroyed. It’s simply turned into empty space that can be replaced with a new file or data.” He taps his finger to his chin. “With powerful enough software, even supposedly permanently deleted data can be restored.”

Maki hums. “Seeing as you have the ability to reprogram human brains and create a sentient, self-aware android, it’s safe to assume you have such technology.”

“Yeah! So give us Keebo back!”

The woman massages her temples. “Fine, supposing everything you say is true, _why_ would we still listen to your demands?”

They all pause for a moment. They have no leverage, nothing to hold over Team Danganronpa’s heads. All they have is-

“The world thinks we’re dead,” Maki says. “But we can easily disprove that.”

“You _wouldn’t._ ” The employees both pale at the threat.

“We would! I could tell them all right now with my magic, but I don’t- oh yeah.” Himiko tilts the brim of her hat and covers her eyes. Shuichi wishes he could mirror her, but any hats that he possessed were likely nothing more than thread at this point.

He shakes his head, clearing his thoughts. “We used our lives as bargaining chips before,” he reminds them. “Give us Keebo, or the world knows that there are survivors of the 53rd killing game.”

The man sighs and hands the woman a phone. “Call the boss, tell her our hands are tied.” He faces the teens and frowns. “We’ll need at least a month to be able to retrieve the AI, recover the memory, and install it. The only people aware of its existence will be you three, got it? And you’re all forfeiting some of your prize money, probably close to half of each month’s check for a year. Understood?”

Maki and Himiko both nod, but Shuichi isn’t content. “And no- no cameras, or spy software, or something to keep track of us,” he insists.

“How would you even know if something like that was on there?”

“I may have been a normal teenager when this game started,” Shuichi says quietly, “but you gave me the talent of Ultimate Detective. Whether you meant to or not, you gave us all our talents. Miu created the virtual world, Angie made those sculptures, and even-” His voice catches, and he forces the words out. “Even Tsumugi could create flawless cosplays. Our memories and personality may be fiction, but the talents are real.”

The employee rolls his eyes again. “All those people you listed were female.”

“...do you want to die?”

“Nyeeehhh, don’t make me blast you away with my magic!”

Shuichi lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “I still have the Ultimate Magici- er, Ultimate Mage and Ultimate Assassin by my side. I wouldn’t want to mess with either of those, if I were you.”

“...Saihara. The AI will be delivered to you, since you’re the one who suggested it. Now here.” He pulls three sheets of paper off his clipboard and hands it to them. “Go to these addresses. It’s where you lived before all of this. Only they are to know of your survival. And you better hope to God I never see you again.” He turns on his heel and storms away, muttering under his breath.

Maki takes Shuichi’s shaking hand. Himiko slumps to her knees.

They were free of Danganronpa. And so was Keebo.


	2. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The past, the future, the present. Shuichi isn't sure which is which anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After beating the game, one discussion my friends and I had was on how much of what Tsumugi said was true. I've already shown you my opinion on the TV show plot, but as for their backstories all being fiction... read on.

The taxi drops him off in front of a house Shuichi doesn’t recognize. He doesn’t recognize the faces that answer the doorbell, either. But the man has the same eyes he does, so he doesn’t question it. 

“Sh-Shuichi? Is that you?” the woman asks, reaching out her hand. Her voice is shaking.

He nods. “Yeah. It’s me. I’m… I’m home.”  _ Home.  _ Was this his home? Could it be his home again? Are these people his parents? His head is swimming, he doesn’t know who to trust. He grips the small bag of his belongings pre-kidnapping and killing game tighter. The ropeburn is the only thing he knows is real. 

The man cocks his head and stares him straight in the eyes. “We thought you died, when you managed to convince the world to quit Danganronpa. The explosion…”

“I was able to survive, by some miracle,” Shuichi says quietly. “But you can’t tell anybody. To the world at large, Shuichi Saihara is dead.” 

The woman- his mother? His aunt? An older sister, maybe?- drops to her knees. “Oh my God, you’re  _ alive _ , your parents didn’t even know you auditioned, we couldn’t even tell them you got  _ on- _ ”

The man pulls Shuichi into a back-breaking hug, forcing him to gasp. “Tell me, boy, do you remember us? Your aunt and uncle? Your family?”

Ah. So that part of his backstory- him living with his extended family, not his parents- that wasn’t fiction. His name wasn’t, either. It was almost a relief to know that not everything Shuichi knew had been implanted in him. 

Nevertheless, he couldn’t recall these faces, or the names attached to them. He couldn’t even remember the Ultimate Detective’s family. It felt strange to treat that as a separate entity. 

“Of course I remember you,” he lies. 

The man and woman- his relatives- cry and hug him tightly. Shuichi hugs back, but feels none of the warmth he craves. 

. . .

His uncle- it would take some time to think of him as such- takes him upstairs and leads him to a door towards the back. “This is your old room. We haven’t touched it since…” He coughs and looks away. “You may want to… clean it up some.” 

Shuichi nods. “I imagine there’s some dust, yes,” he says, studying the door. Plain, solid-colored wood. Nothing like the extravagantly decorated entrances to the Ultimate Labs. 

Uncle sighs. “That is part of the problem, but… I’ll let you look for yourself,” he finally says, patting Shuichi on the shoulder once before shuffling towards the stairs. “If you need anything, give us a holler. We know you’re probably very tired.” 

“I am, thank you.” Shuichi’s hand rests on the doorknob. “I’ll… yes. Yes, I will.” The sound of Uncle’s footsteps rattle in his ears. What exactly is behind this door, then? Surely it can’t be that horrific, especially not compared to- 

_ His hand, clutching at a MonoPad that’s not there. Her face, blue and wide-eyed as she struggled to understand. The pool of blood that he couldn’t recognize-  _

Shuichi finds himself in a pile on the floor, still in the hallway. No. No, the Killing Game is over. “Danganronpa is over,” he whispers, standing and twisting the knob. “Danganronpa is over Danganronpa is over-”

The walls are plastered in pink and red. Faces that he mostly doesn’t recognize grin and grimace at him. What wallspace that isn’t covered in posters are decked with schematics and blueprints for traps, identities, and deaths. A creature he knows all too well lurks in the corner, and he half expects it to stand up and laugh at him.  _ “You thought this was over, didn’t you, Shuichi? But it never ends!”  _

He didn’t want to believe the audition tape. But with his bedroom, unchanged from before, covered in Danganronpa merchandise and plans for the crimes of an Ultimate Detective- 

“It’s… not a lie. I really… I really was that far gone.” Shuichi drops to his knees, bag falling at his side. “I… I was just as bad as her.” He wants to sob, to cry out in the despair he loathes so much, but all he can do is sit. 

Eventually, somehow, he stands. He mechanically walks back downstairs and asks for a garbage bag. Aunt and Uncle exchange a look before handing him one. All he does is nod in thanks before trudging back to the shrine of the Killing Game.

He rips the posters off the walls, crumpling them and tearing them to shreds before shoving them into the plastic. He stuffs the plush Monokuma in with them, ripping off its felt limbs. He’s not sure if there’s any files on his computer- would he even be able to access it, now? It’s not like he remembers the password- but he can deal with those later. Any other memorabilia he can find goes straight into the trash as well. 

However, he pauses before one poster in particular. It shows a girl wearing purple, with pale hair and a stoic face. His fingers trace the name and title at the bottom. 

“I can’t believe you’re the one I idolized so much. I’m sorry,” he chokes out. “Heh, look at me, apologizing to a fictional character.” There’s no humor in the comment, and Shuichi pulls the poster of Kyoko Kirigiri down, too. 

He almost doesn’t take down the plans for the execution of an Ultimate Detective. Some part of him, the part of him that might just remember all this, feels like it would be a waste of a perfectly good death.  _ A pity we never got to use it,  _ the pessimistic voice inside him laments.

Shuichi swallows the fear, the regret, all of it and turns the papers into scraps. 

There’s only two pieces of Danganronpa merchandise he doesn’t throw away. The first is a poster of Junko Enoshima, which he burns using Uncle’s lighter in the dead of night. 

The second is a DVD labeled “52nd Season.” 

. . .

He gets a call from Maki a few days later. 

All three of them had exchanged numbers when they parted ways. Apparently, Team Danganronpa was able to retrieve their passwords so that they could use them again. It was a bit of a shock to see the Danganronpa logo as his wallpaper, but at the time, Shuichi had figured it was the staff’s doing. 

He’s less sure now. 

“Maki? How are you?” he begins, keeping his voice level. He’s confused, but knows her well enough that she wouldn’t call just to chat.

“Himiko and I are getting an apartment together. We were wondering if you’d like to join us,” she says bluntly. 

He squawks a little- that was not the answer he was expecting. “Wh-what? But- first of all, why are you getting an apartment in the first place? Together?” he asks. 

There’s a sigh on the other end. “Himiko’s guardians… the house that Danganronpa sent her to isn’t safe, Shuichi. Not for her, not for anyone,” Maki explains.

Shuichi sucks in a breath and exhales slowly. “I see… that makes sense, then. But why are you joining her? Wouldn’t your family be worried about you?”

He can tell Maki is restraining herself from threatening to kill him, but he can also tell it’s less directed at him, and more at the world in general. He vaguely wonders if this is the power of the Ultimate Detective, being able to read such cues just from sound alone. Or maybe it’s a consequence of having survived a killing game together. Either way, he knows who to blame. “Himiko isn’t old enough to sign a lease on her own yet,” Maki eventually says. “I’m 18, though, so I can. As for my family… well, that’s one thing my backstory got right.” 

She doesn’t elaborate, but she doesn’t need to. Shuichi understands. After all, his backstory was right in that regard as well. “I’m… sorry to hear that, Maki. And I’m glad that you’re helping Himiko find peace,” he replies carefully. “That being said, I still don’t know why you’d want me to join you. Wouldn’t you feel uncomfortable sharing an apartment with a boy?”

“We have the money to easily lease a three-bedroom apartment. Even if we can’t find one, I don’t mind sharing a room with Himiko or even staying on the couch. It’s better than the futons they have here,” she tells him. There’s a cold laugh behind her words that makes Shuichi shiver. “Himiko was the one to suggest it, anyways. You can always say no, too. But… you don’t feel welcome there either, do you?”

There’s no sugar-coating. Shuichi thinks back over the past four days, staying with Aunt and Uncle. While they no doubt care for him, it’s obvious that they don’t realized just how much he’s changed. Or if they do, they’re excellent actors. He feels disconnected from them in a way that leaves him feeling just as empty and hollow as the killing game did. And he’s constantly reminded of what he’s not. He’s not the boy who pledged to die as the Ultimate Detective. He’s not the kid infatuated with the thought of Junko Enoshima’s despair. 

“No… no, I really don’t. And… if you could text me the address, once you find an apartment, I’ll call Team Danganronpa and tell them that I’m moving. Good luck, Maki.” 

“Thank you, Shuichi. I’ll talk to you soon.” The line goes dead. 

Uncle is behind him. “So you’re moving in with the two girls, then?” 

Shuichi sets the phone on the coffee table. “I… I think that would be for the best, yes. I think we need time to heal. Together.” He doesn’t dare turn around to meet his eyes. 

Uncle lets out a small cough before patting his shoulder. “Promise you’ll come visit us, though? Stay the night, or even just for dinner- we’re your family, Shuichi.” 

_ But are you really? Or are you more Danganronpa employees sent to watch us? And even if we are related, the Shuichi you know is dead! I’m not him! I’m not the same!  _ His thoughts rocket through him, too quick to fully take a hold of. Shuichi sucks in a breath through his nose, counts backwards from five, and exhales.  _ No. I don’t think I’ll visit. That’s all you have to say. _

“Of course I will, Uncle.” They hug once more, and it’s just as cold as before.

. . .

He slips the DVD in his backpack alongside his computer. They might want to see it, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Himiko. Just... keep that in mind in future chapters.


	3. The 52nd Season

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened to Rantaro Amami?

"No. Absolutely not."

Shuichi isn't surprised that his suggestion to watch Rantaro's (presumably) first killing game is being met with some resistance. He's honestly surprised he was able to propose it in the first place. That being said...

"Nyehhh, but Maki, I'm curious!"

His only opposition is Maki.

When running the scenario in his head, Shuichi had fully suspected that Himiko would refuse to partake, with Maki agreeing to view the 52nd season alongside him. But... that was a deduction he made based on them during the killing game. Now that two weeks had passed, that they've all seen their lives from before Danganronpa...

It was also a deduction an Ultimate Detective would've made, and… he’s not.  _ (Or is he? What is he, really?) _

Moving into the apartment with the other survivors had gone smoothly, up until this point. None of them had all that many possessions, only four boxes and a garbage bag between them. Shuichi’s uncle was more than happy to assist in obtaining and arranging furniture, and Maki insisted she was still comfortable with sleeping on the couch. Shuichi knew better than to protest. 

“If you don’t want to watch, fine,” Himiko says, sticking out her lower lip. “But it’ll be a pain if you try to stop us. Why don’t… why don’t you just hang out in my room until we’re done?”

Maki blinks and cocks her head. “I still don’t think this is a good idea, but… I don’t think it’s a good idea to try to stop you, either,” she concedes. 

Himiko giggles, “of course not, ‘less you wanna get blasted by my magi- oh.” Her shoulders slump, and she curls up on the couch, forlorn. Shuichi understands. 

“If you change your mind, you can join us. I don’t plan on watching the entire killing game, just vital points regarding Rantaro,” he explained as he pulls the DVD from its case. He’s not sure he could stomach watching another whole cycle of deaths and trials and executions-

_ Her swinging body, her leg jutting out at that unnatural angle, him slowly sinking into the pot, his stomach pierced, his corpse falling out of the shuttle- _

“Shuichi!” 

He shudders and finds Himiko bending over him, nearly crying. He’s sprawled on the floor, shaking. “Ah… sorry, I was-”   


“This is why I think it’s a bad idea,” Maki snaps, walking into Himiko’s room and slamming the door. Shuichi winces at the sound. 

Himiko rubs her fingers together and sits back down on the couch. “She might have a point, Shuichi… that was kinda scary. I was worried about you.” 

His mind clears as his heart softens, and he awkwardly pats her knee. “I appreciate it, Himiko, but… I need to at least see his previous killing game self. But I promise you, if I- or you, for that matter- start to feel uncomfortable, I’ll turn it off. Does that sound good?” Himiko nods, and Shuichi joins her on the sofa. “Now then, let’s start by seeing what his original talent was,” he says, pressing the play button on the remote. 

There’s a slew of logos and some theme music before the camera settles on a boy with a red crew cut. Shuichi figures this will be the protagonist- evidently, Keebo hadn’t been built yet. 

The protagonist- Shuichi didn’t catch the name, and doesn’t much care to learn it- introduces himself as the “Ultimate ???”. “Just like Rantaro,” Himiko says. “Maybe he’s an Ultimate Survivor, too?”

Shuichi shrugs, focus rapt on the screen. “It’s possible, but I doubt it. Having the returning character in the main role would be a bit of a letdown for the audience.” 

“But they’re not characters, Shuichi,” Himiko whispers. “They’re real people.” 

_ No- they’re somehow both. Real people losing their lives, but not as themselves.  _ He bites his tongue. There are so many ramifications about this show that are worth discussing… but not now. Instead, he nods. His mouth tastes of blood. 

Eventually, after most of the students are introduced, the protagonist stumbles across a boy with green hair and a pink button-up shirt.  _ “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Rantaro Amami, the Ultimate Nail Artist.” _

_ “Well that’s a bit odd,”  _ says the protagonist's companion, a girl in overalls called the Ultimate Landscaper. The protagonist punches her arm gently. 

_ “Yes, I get that a lot. But I assure you, my designs are top notch,”  _ says the Rantaro on-screen. 

It’s… surreal to watch Rantaro in this way. It’s undoubtedly the same person physically as the one they knew, but he carries himself so differently and behaves like a completely separate entity. Is this closer to the true Rantaro, or was the amnesiac version more genuine? Shuichi’s head spins and he resists the urge to vomit.  _ How close am I to my old self…?  _

“Nyeh… Shuichi, I don’t… I don’t really want to see M-Monokuma again,” Himiko says quietly. Shuichi nods and fast-forwards. 

They skip most of the first three trials. Bodies of faces Shuichi can’t name pile up, and from what he can tell, Rantaro isn’t a major part of the trials. Helpfully, certainly, but not a vital source of information, either. It isn’t until the fourth trial that he stops and watches more closely. 

“Why here?” Himiko asks, clutching a pillow to her chest. 

“There are two victims, and one is the Ultimate Landscaper.” Her body was found in the gardening shed, impaled on a hoe. “And if my theory is correct, we have to watch the double murder trial.” 

Himiko shuffles a little, her t-shirt slipping off her shoulder. Shuichi notes the brownish-purple of a bruise there, and Maki’s words from weeks ago flash in his mind. “A’right… but skip the execution, please?” 

The trial proceeds as Shuichi expected. The culprit of the first murder- the Ultimate Hacker- is easily found, but nobody can figure out who killed the Landscaper. Eventually, the protagonist turns to Rantaro. “ _ She was your best friend,”  _ he says solemnly. “ _ I’m sorry we couldn’t find her killer. And to think that they’re still here…”  _

Rantaro shakes his head. “ _ You tried your best. Hopefully, one day, she will have justice.”  _

The trial ends without the culprit coming forward, and true to his word, Shuichi fast-forwards through the execution. The students disperse from the trial grounds and everything slows back down to normal. There’s a smash-cut and suddenly, the screen shows Rantaro sitting alone in his dorm room.  _ “Oh my God,”  _ he keeps repeating, leg bouncing wildly.  _ “Oh my God, oh my God.”  _

_ “Still in shock, are you?”  _ a new voice chimes in, and the same bear that’s haunted Shuichi’s nightmares appears.  _ “But I gotta hand it to ya- you managed to pull off a murder! Congratulations! Of course, it wasn’t enough for you to graduate…”  _

“WHAT?” Himiko screeches, sitting up straight. “Rantaro- he- he was a  _ murderer?”  _ Her eyes flicker between the TV and Shuichi, hoping one or the other would reassure her that Rantaro was innocent. The latter holds his tongue; he had enough lying during the trials and dealing with-  _ was it him? It has to be Kaito, because otherwise- he would be wrong-  _

The scene fades into grainy footage from inside the gardening shed, and Shuichi shakes his head clear. Rantaro is placing the hoe on the floor and draping a rope so that when someone enters the shed- most likely the Ultimate Landscaper- they would trip and be staked through the heart. “Simple, yet devious,” Shuichi mutters. “It would be difficult to confirm if it was really a murder or just an accident.” Himiko hides her view behind her bangs. 

_ “Why are you here?”  _ Rantaro asks, voice shaking.  _ “Don’t te-tell me I have to die too- the handbook says that the second murderer walks free!”  _

_ “Nah, you’re fine, unless one of your classmates decides to take a whack at ya. Nope, I’m here to give you your reward!”  _ Monokuma cheerfully explains. Both Shuichi and Himiko flinch. 

Rantaro shivers as well, but Shuichi can’t tell from the same anxiety filling him or something else entirely.  _ “A- a reward? What kind of reward?” _

Monokuma laughs and pulls something from the ether. It’s a mechanical looking flashlight that causes Himiko to gasp and Shuichi to inhale sharply over. “I thought those only gave fake memories,” Himiko whispers. 

“Apparently not,” Shuichi mutters back. 

_ “Now then, Mr. Rantaro Amami, the Ultimate Nail Artist, I give you your true past!”  _ There’s a soft  _ click  _ and the dorm room is awash in light. When the screen clears, it shows Rantaro on his knees, clutching his head.  _ “Enjoy, kid! Puhuhuhu!”  _

After a moment, Rantaro grabs his bed to stabilize himself as he stands. He glances around the room, face blank, before his eyes narrow on the camera in the corner.  _ “So… I hope you’re all enjoying the show. I know I am. Wouldn’t have signed up otherwise.”  _

Himiko grabs Shuichi’s sleeve tightly, knuckles turning white. “H-he remembers auditioning, then? What is he going to do?” She doesn’t get an answer. Instead, Shuichi fast forwards until the final trial, when the mastermind is outed. 

Surprisingly, it’s the same red-haired protagonist.  _ “I lied about my talent- I’m the Ultimate Mastermind! But I couldn’t let all of you know that!”  _ he laughs, clutching a Monokuma plush to his chest. “ _ Ah, this Killing Game went better than expected, even if I did lose… Oh well! Such is the whimsy of despair!”  _

_ “Then… then we get to leave?”  _ the lone female survivor, the Ultimate Soap Maker, says, playing with the drawstrings of her coat. 

The mastermind nods.  _ “Yeppers! Well, I don’t, obviously, and one of you does have to stay behind… Can’t break the rules like that!”  _

_ “Like hell that’s gonna happen!”  _ the Ultimate Hockey Star yells. “ _ You’re not takin’ another one of my friends-”  _

_ “I’ll stay. I don’t mind.” _

The other two survivors gasp, paling.  _ “But- but Rantaro, you’ll die…”  _ the Soap Maker says, voice barely audible. 

Rantaro shrugs, nonchalant as Shuichi knew him.  _ “Doesn’t bother me. After all, I need to face my dues.”  _ The looks of horror on the survivors’ faces are more than enough for Shuichi to know they understand Rantaro’s cryptic words.  _ “So, should we get this over with?” _

_ “I’m on it! Haruka, Takashi, it was a pleasure meeting you both! And congrats on winning the 52nd season of Danganronpa!”  _ There’s a blinding flash and the two survivors crumble to the floor, screaming.  _ “Ah, hell… don’t worry about ‘em, someone will get them soon. As for you, I imagine you’ll be on the next season?”  _ the mastermind asks as if they were discussing the weather over of a pot of tea. Rantaro nods. “ _ Yeah, figured as much- not everyday you get a second shot at fame and fortune!” _

_ “Will you be tuning in, then?”  _ Rantaro responds politely. Shuichi wonders for a second how he’s this calm, but realizes just how idiotic he’s being. Of course Rantaro is calm. He’s getting all he ever wanted. 

Himiko whimpers and Shuichi shuts off the television. “I have a feeling he didn’t get a chance to watch the next season, unless they have cable in the afterlife,” he muses gravely. 

“Don’t joke about that!” Himiko chastises, crossing her arms. They sit in silence for a few minutes before she sighs. “So… did you get your answer?”

“Yes, I did,” he says softly, looking at his socks. “I had a theory that in order to gain the title of ‘Ultimate Survivor,’ one must successfully complete a murder and get away with it, whether by successfully winning a class trial or by being the second guilty party. I’m not sure if Tsum- if Tsumugi was lying when she said Maki would be the next Survivor, though,” he adds. “But I suppose that’s besides the point.” 

“And what about Takashi and Haruka?” 

Shuichi sighs and spares a look out the window. It started raining while they watched the 52nd season. “I think they’re out there, wondering what happened to themselves, just like us.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When we return in the new year, a new face will be joining the survivors.


	4. K1-B0.exe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unmarked package and a heartfelt reunion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a shorter chapter this time, but I hope the content makes up for it.

One month and two days after Shuichi moved in with Maki and Himiko, he finds an unmarked package outside their door.  
  
_He's here._  
  
He grabs the box carefully and maneuvers it back inside the apartment. "Maki? Wake Himiko!"  
  
"Why, what's going-" Her voice drops off once she notices what Shuichi is holding. "Is that-"  
  
"I think so," he says excitedly, setting it on the coffee table. "I'll get him ready." Maki nods and heads into Himiko's bedroom.  
  
Shuichi opens the package and pulls out a note, printed on white, black, and red stationary.

_Shuichi Saihara-_

_Enclosed is a laptop containing the restored AI of K1-B0. It will have the same programmed personality as it did during the bulk of the 53rd season. We have also included the first three checks of prize money for you, Himiko Yumeno, and Maki Harukawa. Destroy this letter and any evidence of your connection with us._

_-Team Danganronpa_  
  
He tosses the letter aside, places the checks in his pocket, and plugs the computer in. Maki reappears, Himiko behind her. "Nyeh, is it really him?!"  
  
"We're about to find out," he answers as they kneel beside him. Sucking in a breath, Shuichi presses the power button.

 

_Initializing…_

 

_Booting up K1-B0.exe…_

 

_Task successful._

 

The screen blinks, twice, three times, before a picture appears of a teenage boy’s face with white spiky hair and gray-blue eyes. “I am K1-B0, the Ultimate Robot! But plea- _Shuichi? Maki? H-Himiko?_ What are you-”

“It’s really him!” Himiko cheers, hugging Shuichi’s arm. Maki smiles, lightly, and Shuichi can feel his cheeks straining under his grin. “Keebo, you’re back!”

“Wha- what’s going on? Where are we? Why am I- how am I alive?” Keebo asks, eyes darting around the room.

“We survived the explosion,” Shuichi says quietly, making a motion for Himiko to calm down. “And then we asked for a copy of your AI from Team Danganronpa.”

Maki nods. “Unfortunately, all we could get them to do was install your AI on a computer.” Keebo’s sprite blinks, then sighs. “Not quite the robot form you’re used to, but it’s the best we could manage. We didn’t really have much leverage.”

“No, I don’t mind the form. And I am glad to you three survived- I saw a piece of rubble moving, so I assumed you had hidden underneath it. That’s… the last thing I can really remember,” he says sadly. “But I imagine there wasn’t much afterwards.”

“No, there really wasn’t,” Maki tells him. “You blew up and destroyed the cage around the school.”

Himiko beams and pumps her fist. “You freed us, Keebo! You’re amazing!”

Keebo blushes, and Shuichi knows that if he still had fingers, they would be twiddling. “I… I appreciate that, Himiko. May I also say that your new hairstyle suits you?”

Ah, that’s right, Shuichi hadn’t even thought of that. Since the killing game ended, Himiko had been growing out her hair. It was now just beyond her shoulders, making her look a bit more mature. Maki, meanwhile, had hers cut even shorter than Kirumi’s had been-

_The buzz of the chainsaws, her screams, the thud of her impact and her crumpled body, bleeding and bruised on the remains of Monosuke-_

“It’s to help keep me disguised,” Himiko explains, twirling a strand between her thumb and pointer finger. “Cuz the world thinks we’re dead.” Shuichi had his own disguise- his hat. It felt odd to wear it again, but… sometimes it helped, knowing he could block out what he couldn’t stand to see. He did wonder if it was truly effective, though, seeing as it was something he wore during the killing game. At least, until-

_Their fingers almost touching, her being pulled from his grasp, why were they_ **_doing this to him-_ **

“Shuichi!” Maki says firmly, shaking his shoulder. He shivers, refocuses his eyes, and sees Keebo, visibly unnerved. “It’s alright. It’s just the thr- four of us.”

“Ah, sorry…” He tugs his hat lower sheepishly. _Some things never change, I suppose._

“Do not worry, Shuichi,” Keebo whispers. “I’m just… surprised that you saved me at all.”

He chokes on nothing, sputtering. “Wh-what? Why wouldn’t we? Keebo, you’re our friend, of course we’d do anything in our power to try and save you-”

_“But I was working for them!”_ Keebo yells, the volume causing the speakers to crackle a bit. “I was- I was their _pawn,_ I was filming for them, I was their camera- I didn’t even have a free will!” His sprite wavers, and blue pixels appear around his eyes. “Everything I did was because the audience t-told me to, how could you consider m-me your _friend_ after all of that?”

The three freeze and glance among each other. Maki gnaws on her thumb in thought, and Shuichi pulls the brim of his hat as low as it can go. Himiko, however, exhales deeply. Inhales, exhales. “Keebo… you do have a free will. You wanted to destroy the school when your a-antenna broke off, you were able to fight against T-Tsumugi’s command for us to be dead…” She rubs her eyes, forcing the tears back. “A-and you’re crying.”

“Wh-what? I am?” Keebo’s digital fingers reach up to his cheeks and he gasps. “I… I suppose I am. I can… I can cry now.”

“Does it really matter though?” Maki snaps, looking aside. “It’s not like they’re real either way.”

“Don’t be mean, Maki! It’s important to show your emotions, no matter what!” Himiko says, reaching across Shuichi to slap Maki’s wrist lightly. “That’s what Tenko tol-” Her expression grows cold and distant. “Tenko…”

“Himiko, a-ah…” Shuichi stammers, quickly wrapping his arms around the smaller girl. “Shh, it’s OK, you’re alright…” She struggles against his grip, gasping. “Maki, do you mind-”

Maki quietly stands and walks towards the kitchen. Keebo watches, face painted with worry. “Is- is she OK? You did something similar earlier, Shuichi…”

“It’s PTSD,” Maki says, giving Shuichi a glass of water. He gently lifts it to Himiko’s lips, and she takes a sip. Her breathing slows and Shuichi lets her out of his grasp. “We all have it, Shuichi and Himiko worst of all. I wonder if you’ll have it, too.”

“Is that a remark on me being a robot? Maki, I expected more out of-”

Shuichi coughs, smiling crookedly. “I-I think it was more a comment on your AI being wiped. It’s entirely possible it messed with your memories,” he explains, patting the keyboard on Keebo’s laptop. Himiko nods, eyes still a little distant, but regaining some shine.

“Oh… that is possible, I suppose. Still, I’ll have to ask you to refrain from making comments that could be construed as robophobic in the future, Maki,” Keebo says, pointing at her. And something about it, the somewhat-cartoony sprite of Keebo, his tone of voice, just the fact that he’s _back_ and acting like _himself, they managed to save one of them-_

Well, Shuichi breaks. Just a bit. He breaks down into a fit of tears and laughter, vision growing blurry as he clutches his stomach. “Nyehh… Shuichi, what’s so funny?”

“Are you OK?” Maki asks, a touch of concern in her words.

Shuichi nods, rubbing his cheek dry. “I’m… I’m relieved, I guess? You’re back, Keebo. You’re really back!”

“He’s right! Keebo’s back! We saved our friend!” Himiko yells, throwing her arms in the air, any of her panic from moments earlier gone. “And now you don’t have to work for Danganronpa anymore-”

There’s a sharp but not unpleasant noise, and Shuichi realizes after a jolt that it’s Maki, letting out a snorting laugh. “I guess it is kind of funny. The one student we manage to resurrect was never really dead to begin with,” she comments.

Keebo grumbles something about robophobia, but is quickly drowned out by the laughter and cheers from the other three. Shuichi leans back on his hands, smiling at the ceiling. _We saved Keebo. We couldn’t save them all, Kaede, but we at least saved him._  
  
He hopes- maybe this time, hope is a good thing- he hopes that the strange bubbling in his stomach is just from fulfilling Kaede’s wish, and nothing else.


	5. Pancakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They try to return to normalcy. 
> 
> It doesn't really work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the hiatus everyone! Things are back in order and regular updates will resume.
> 
> Semi-unrelated note: the pop culture con in my city hosts a LARP every year, which I usually participate in. This year's setup is a murder mystery hosted by Chris McLean from Total Drama. Given this premise and the fact that someone else was playing as Monokuma...
> 
> Yeah, going Shuichi was a no-brainer.

“Beat all ingredients until smooth. Maki, is the pan ready?”

Maki holds her hand over the frying pan and nods. “Yeah, it’s at a good temperature.”

Keebo smiles as Shuichi sets aside the whisk. “I think I got all the eggshells out… I’m afraid I’m not much of a cook,” he confesses, giving the pancake batter to Maki. She nods once and begins pouring a serving onto the pan. “I’ll go wake Himiko, if you two think you can handle this on your own.”

“I… I’m pretty sure I made pancakes back at the orphanage, at least once. Even if I haven’t, I have Keebo’s help,” she says, tending to the bubbling batter.

“Thank you again for looking up the recipe, Keebo,” Shuichi adds, rinsing his hands off in the sink. “I know it’s a bit degrading, having you be a glorified virtual assistant…”

Keebo sighs. “It is unfortunate that this is all I can do anymore, but if it means I can help my friends, I’ll accept it. Just remember that I am more than just a computer program!”

Shuichi laughs and Maki huffs out a chuckle. “Of course. You’re our friend, too.” He leaves the kitchen to the sound of a pancake hitting a plate. Shuffling across the living room, he gently knocks on Himiko’s door. “Hey Himiko? It’s time to wake up. We made pancakes.” There’s no reply, and he sighs, opening the door. “Himiko?”

“Hmmm… ‘m comin’, Kirumi…” Himiko groans, sitting up. “...you’re not Kiru- oh.” She rubs her eyes and blinks a few times at Shuichi. “But… pancakes?”

“Yeah. Keebo found a recipe and Maki and I cooked them. I’m not sure if we have any syrup, though,” he adds, casting his gaze aside. “Sorry.”

Himiko stuffs her feet into a pair of ratty yellow slippers and stretches, finally standing. “‘S OK, I like ‘em plain…” She yawns as she trudges to the kitchen, Shuichi right behind her. “Unless we have some jam, I like jam…”

“Shuichi bought a small jar of strawberry jam when he was out shopping,” Maki says, not looking up from the pancakes. “I’m nearly done, there’s a plate for both of you.”

Keebo huffs. “No plate for me, I see…”

Shuichi shakes his head and awkwardly pats the laptop case. “Keebo, even if you weren’t in a computer, you didn’t have the ability to eat.”

“It’s the principle of the thing, Shui- Shuichi, when did you last sleep?”

“Wh-last night, of course- where is this coming from?” he asks, bewildered. Keebo’s face zooms in on the screen, nose scrunching against the glass. “K-Keebo, please!” It felt silly to protest his lack of personal space, seeing as Keebo was still confined to the computer, but the close-up of Keebo’s nostrils wasn’t exactly welcome.

“The bags under your eyes suggest otherwise. Shuichi,” the AI says quietly. “Please be honest with me. When did you last sleep?”

Shuichi bites his tongue as the girls turn towards him. Between Himiko’s look of concern and Maki’s glare, however, he caves. “A full night’s sleep? Probably… three days ago. I-I’m sorry, everyone.”

“Nyeh, if you’re that tired, go back to bed!”

“I have to agree,” Maki says, crossing her arms, spatula rubbing against her shirt sleeve. “Shuichi, please return to your room and get some rest. If you need to take some medicine or something to assist in the process, send a text and one of us will get it for you.”

“Bu-but…” He tries to stand up for himself, to insist that he’s fine, but the weariness and exhaustion and expressions coming from his friends causes him to stall. “I… alright. I will. But please, wake me if you need me to take care of anything. I don’t want to be in bed all day.”

They assure him they will, and he reluctantly leaves them. There’s a collective sigh of relief when they hear a door close. “That’s good… Keebo, how did you realize he hadn’t been sleeping?” Himiko asks, taking a seat with a jar of jam in hand.

“Oh, ah, when he got closer to me- or, my camera, I suppose…” Keebo trails off, before shaking his head and continuing, “I noticed the bags under his eyes. A telltale sign of lack of sleep!”

Maki hums in agreement, sitting down with her own plate. “I’ll put Shuichi’s pancakes in the fridge. He can reheat them when he wakes up, if he wants.” She takes a bite and her lips turn up, ever so slightly. “Hmm, yeah, I did OK with these.”

“They taste great, Maki Roll!”

Everything stills. Even the fans keeping Keebo’s laptop cooled stop whirring. Himiko gulps, pales, and grips the edge of her chair. Maki’s gaze pierces right through her, and Himiko wonders if she should’ve trusted Angie, if maybe praying to Atua would keep her alive right now-

But the death she expects from the Ultimate Assassin never comes. Instead, it’s a gentle sob. “I don’t… please don’t call me that,” Maki whispers, blinking back tears.

Himiko reaches across the table and lays her hand across Maki’s. “Oh Maki… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s alright,” Maki cuts in, jerking Himiko’s hand away and stabbing her pancake. “But… I’d rather not hear that name again. Ever.” Himiko nods and shys away, nibbling at her breakfast slowly. There’s a tense silence as the girls eat, and Keebo can’t help but notice how the smaller of the two shivers.

The laptop begins to buzz again. “If you don’t mind me asking… why is it that all three of you are living together?”

“A few reasons. One was so we could all see you,” Maki explains. “Technically Shuichi owns your laptop-”

“Not that he owns you!” Himiko adds, raising a quick finger.

Maki nods and continues “what Himiko said. But what Team Danganronpa agreed to was Shuichi possessing a copy of your AI. They didn’t see you as a person, Keebo.”

Keebo sighs, glancing around the four sides of the screen. “I figured as much. If they cared about me as a person, I doubt I would’ve been a participant in the Killing Game.”

“We also felt more comfortable sharing an apartment than living separately. I already told you that my backstory was true regarding the orphanage but…” Maki goes to fiddle with her pigtails and settles for rubbing her shoulder when she remembers her shorter hair. “Shuichi came of his own volition. Himiko asked me to stay with her.”

“I couldn’t… I couldn’t stay with my parents,” Himiko says. Keebo’s sprite leans forward, as if daring for more information, but none comes. She sighs, just audible, and adds “you weren’t the only one whose… family, I guess, was OK with them going into a Killing Game.”

“I… I see,” Keebo replies. “I’m… I’m sorry, Himiko.” The silence returns, more dense and foggy than before. “Perhaps we should change the subject…”

Maki wipes her mouth and stands. “If you and Himiko want to continue talking, you can. I’m going to get some fresh air. I’ll be back shortly.” There’s a curt nod, the sound of dishes clinking in the sink, and Maki walks away.

Himiko swallows another chunk of pancake. “Well that… happened… I shouldn’t have opened my mouth…”

“Himiko, no, it was a mistake. And the compliment was genuine… I assume,” Keebo reassures her. The girl shrugs and takes another bite. “Well, since we’re here… what do you dream of, Himiko?”

“Where’s this comin’ from?”

“You sleep quite a bit, so I figured you must dream as well. However, if you do not remember your dreams or do not wish to share-”

“No, I don’t mind. I used to dream about magic and castles and wizards… but that was mostly back at the school,” she says, setting her fork down. “Now I… I dream of Tenko a lot. Angie, too. Them saying how proud they are of me, that th-they wish they could’ve helped me more…” Himiko pauses to rub her eye. “B-but they’re mostly happy dreams. Mostly. I do magic for them and we pose for Angie’s paintings and Tenko shows us some neo-aikido… it’s nice. It’s what… it’s what we would’ve been like if we weren’t forced to kill each other.”

Keebo smiles. “That’s a nice dream, Himiko.”

“How about you? Do you dream?”

He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out of the speakers. In truth, he hasn’t really dreamed since being resurrected- they don’t shut him down, but sleep mode isn’t the same for a laptop as it is a robot.

But back during the Killing Game, he _did_ dream. And he remembers the dreams- or at least one of them. It had to have been a dream, right? There’s no way that-

_Humans often say that love is the most precious, wonderful feeling in the world. I, too, wish to experience what love is. Will you please help me?_

_I think… I might already be in love with you._

_My heart… is at peace right now…_

It’s mostly his voice, him talking to some face that’s just hazy enough that he can’t make out. Answers come out distorted and fuzzy. Except one, which is clearer than the purest lake.

_I don’t have a plan for the future… but I know I want to help you, Keebo._

 

“Nyeh? Keebo? You alright?”

Keebo blinks and looks at Himiko. “Ah… I’m afraid I don’t remember if I dream or not, I apologize.”

Himiko sighs. “Then maybe… you _do_ dream of electric sheep!” she laughs, sheepish smile on her face.

“H-hey! That was very robophobic of you, Himiko!” he chastises, the voice of Shuichi in his dreams forgotten for the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update is on Valentine's Day! And special thanks to Clayfangirl for the comic!!
> 
> No, the Saiibo isn't happening yet.


	6. Labels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's better to be open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day! 
> 
> Sorry for the shorter chapter, but I hope the content makes up for it.

He and Maki kissed, once.   
  
In retrospect, he's not exactly sure how it happened. All he really remembered was them doing the dishes. She turned to grab the towel off the counter behind him and they ended up chest-to-chest. She breathed out twice. Shuichi couldn't feel his lungs at all.    
  
And then they were kissing.   
  
It was intense, and passionate- and incredibly inexperienced and rushed. It lasted all of seven and a half seconds. Shuichi counted. When they broke apart, panting, there was no flush of embarrassment or anger. Maki nodded once. "I apologize," she began.   
  
Shuichi shook his head. "No, it's alright. I think... we had to try, right?"   
  
"...yeah, I suppose we did. And I feel... relieved for at least trying," she conceded. "It's what Kaito would've wanted."    
  
"For his two best friends to fall in love," Shuichi mused. "Yeah, that sounds like him. But... I didn't feel anything. I'm sorry, Maki."    
  
She glared at him before sighing. "Don't be. I felt nothing either. I do... I do care for you, Shuichi," she said carefully, dropping her voice despite knowing Himiko was fast asleep. "But not in that manner." She tangled her fingers in her hair.  
  
He nodded, not trusting his tongue, which seemed to have fallen down his throat. "At least we know for certain now, right?"   
  
She averted her eyes, but he could see the smallest wisps of a smile on her lip. "Heh. That moron would be proud of us."    
  
"...Yeah, he would be."

. . .

Shuichi didn’t think of that event until a few days later, when Himiko emerges from her room, looking sheepish. He’s cleaning the window while Maki and Keebo sit on the couch and discuss… something. Shuichi hadn’t really been listening, instead absorbing the sounds of traffic and distant rain. “Um… can we have a… group talk?” Himiko asks, sitting cross-legged on the floor.

He places the rag aside and sits beside her. “What’s wrong, Himiko?”

“There’s nothing wrong, but… I remember something about the old me. Or maybe it’s something that they never changed,” she explains, wrapping her arms around herself. “And I’ve known for a while, really, ever since I went… back home.” 

Maki touches her shoulder. “Himiko, if you don’t want to say it-”

“No, I p-promised Tenko I would be honest about my feelings. I promised her. So…” Himiko inhales, looking at her socks, and shuts her eyes. “I’m. I’m gay. I’m a lesbian.” 

Shuichi blinks. Outside, the rain closes in. “But… your vision of Atua was of a handsome man, if I remember correctly,” he says. He immediately regrets it and winces. 

“We-well yeah, Angie always called Atua a man and just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I don’t recognize someone being handsome-” Himiko sputters, blushing. Maki glares at Shuichi and he winces again, wondering if this is how-

_ How Miu felt when she realized Gonta was behind her, how Ryoma felt when Kirumi struck, how Rantaro felt when he noticed the girl lurking in the shadows- _

“My memory also indicates you blushing when Kokichi confessed his love to you,” Keebo interjects, voice surprisingly steady. “Even though I’m fairly certain that was another one of his lies.” 

Himiko’s fists curl. “Of course I was flustered, someone just  _ confessed  _ to me- is me being gay a problem or not?” she yells, her teary eyes darting between them. Shuichi stills and his thoughts take off. 

He felt nothing when he kissed Maki, but that was absolutely no indication that he wasn’t straight. If Himiko had been a lesbian before and after her identity change, then his attraction to Kaede- he couldn’t deny it, no matter how much it hurt,  _ he barely knew her but he loved her-  _ was not entirely fabricated. But at the same time, his feelings for Kaito weren’t… entirely platonic, either. And the dreams he had, dreams of the other students, both male and female. How they lingered, some longer than others. But they were intimate in a way that suggested only one thing-

“I’m bisexual,” he says.

Maki blinks. Keebo’s fans quiet. Himiko sucks in a breath, still shaking and crying. “R-really?” the smaller girl asks, voice tiny, even in the silence.

“I-I guess- I mean, I am,” Shuichi stammers, tugging at his collar. He can feel his blush spreading down his neck. “I-I really haven’t given it much thought, and-and I’m not entirely sure if it’s the correct term, bu-but I-” His eyes flicker towards Keebo. “I’m n-not just attracted to girls, I mean. I do… I do like girls, but I like b-boys, too, and… bisexual feels… right,” he concludes. 

And it  _ does.  _ Calling himself bisexual feels  _ right.  _ Maybe it’s not the most accurate term- he can do more research later, if he cares to- but it fits. Shuichi never paid much mind to his sexuality during the killing game-  _ of course I didn’t, given the circumstances-  _ and maybe this was something his old self had already come to terms with. He didn’t know, couldn’t know. But he knows now.

He slides closer to Himiko and opens his arms. “It’s not going to be a problem, Himiko. At least, not with me.” 

Himiko nods once and flings herself into a hug. Her tears have stopped, but Shuichi’s are just starting.  _ God, I just admitted to everyone, including myself, I’m not straight. _

“If I may interrupt…” Keebo calls out. Shuichi and Himiko turn towards him. “I would like to continue this discussion by announcing my own sexuality. I believe I may be… I believe the word is asexual?”

Maki coughs, but it sounds to Shuichi like she’s disguising a laugh. “Of course,” she says, rolling her eyes. But there’s a small, playful smile on her lips, and there’s no malice behind the words. 

“Maki, if you’re making a robophobic remark, I must ask you to stop,” Keebo says sternly. “And note that I said ‘believe.’ Much like Shuichi, I have not given it much thought, but it is what I feel most comfortable using at this point in time. I may change my label in the future; it’s my prerogative to do so. And just so we’re all clear, I do experience romantic attraction to… anyone, really. I’m not sure what to call that, but… I am curious about love,” he explains, “and hope I’ll be able to experience it one day.”

Himiko nods. “Nyeh… when I was in the game, I wondered if maybe I was bi… it’s OK if you don’t know yet,” she reassures. 

“Well, if that’s an option… I don’t know yet, either.” Maki bites her thumb and stares at the ceiling. “I really… I just don’t know.” 

Shuichi leans over and places a hand on the small of her back. “That’s alright, Maki. You don’t need to know. We can figure it out together.” He smiles over at Himiko and Keebo. “We all can. We want you to be happy, too.” 

“Yeah!” 

“I agree with Shiuchi, your happiness and comfort are important, Maki.” 

Maki sighs and rubs her cheek. There’s a faint glimmer to them. “Thank you, everybody. I want… I want to be myself. I don’t want to have to hide my identity anymore.” 

Shuichi frowns behind the joy on his face. They’re still not sure who they really are, they’re still in hiding. What little they know about themselves are based on lies. But they’re making steps to be their own selves. Something only they can control. That they created.

Somebody that Danganronpa can never taint again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few quick comments:
> 
> 1\. I'm not trying to perpetuate the stereotype that asexual people are robots. Keebo simply doesn't have any interest in a sexual relationship right now, seeing as he's still learning what love even really is. In time, however, I feel he may change his label to demisexual- he's just not familiar with the term right now.  
> 2\. I wanted Maki to be questioning her sexuality seeing as she was the one with the most developed romance in the games. I also wanted to show that not being sure is completely OK.  
> 3\. I like pansexual Shuichi, personally, but again, not familiar with the term.  
> 4\. And Himiko is straight-up gay. And yes, this will be important later. 
> 
> I hope this was a fun chapter for Valentine's Day. The next chapter... may not be quite so happy.


	7. Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They cope in different ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Sort of. Updates are still going to be sporadic, since I'm in the process of preparing to move and being promoted at work. I'll still update when I can.
> 
> MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING FOR SMOKING, ALCOHOL ABUSE, AND SELF HARM IN THIS CHAPTER.

Not long before Keebo arrives, Himiko takes up kickboxing.

It’s exhausting sitting around doing nothing. Her body yearns for movement, something to remind her that she isn’t dead. That she survived, and she’ll continue to do so. Hence, the kickboxing.

(It wasn’t going to be kickboxing, originally. She tried yoga, but it wasn’t _enough._ Karate and taekwondo required too much specialty equipment that she would have to purchase and involve visiting a dojo, which would put her at risk of discovery. Kung fu was more-or-less the same.

She wanted to do aikido, but… it was hard to focus through her tears.)

With Maki’s help, she sets up the punching bag she bought online in the corner of the main room. They place a few towels around it to mark the area. Her workout area. And she kicks and punches and works through the stiffness in her tiny muscles.

Maybe kickboxing is calling it a stretch. Himiko lacks any real form or discipline or even talent, and she fully admits it. It’s more beating the punching bag senseless until her fists and feet ache. The pain feels good.

The first few sessions, she knocks over water bottles and a small potted plant on the windowsill. But this time, after a few weeks of training, Himiko hits the bag squarely, satisfied in watching it swing back and forth from the impact. She still misses on occasion, instead punching the wall. She just goes back to attacking the bag, grunting with effort. Biting her lip to stave off tears. Whispering Tenko’s name between hits until it becomes a war cry.

Shuichi finds her crumpled on the floor an hour later, asleep with her knuckles bleeding.

. . .

Maki isn't sure where the first bottle came from.  
  
Obviously, she _bought_ it at some point, and the clerk either thought she was older than she was or just didn't care. She's not necessarily complaining though.   
  
And she knows it's bad for her. Alcohol impairs judgment and lowers your reflexes. If she was actually an assassin, she would never touch the stuff. But she's not, she never was, and so she takes a sip.   
  
It goes straight to her head, and the rush is exhilarating. It clouds her thoughts and makes the pain feel less like an actual threat. Idly, Maki wonders if she should share the beer with the others, but eventually decides she's better off keeping it a secret. They'd likely be furious with her; understandably so. She honest to God- _was there ever a God, did Angie actually believe in a god before Danganronpa-_ doesn't want to be doing this. But the alcohol burns her throat and brain and emotions and she can't bear to extinguish that.   
  
It makes the spark that Kaito left in her burn all the brighter, though, and that's what truly scares her.

. . .

Cigarettes burned too, but they also burned feelings.

Something about the nicotine trailing down her throat and up her nose makes her forget everything except resisting the urge to cough. She doesn’t want to wake Himiko and Shuichi, especially after Shuichi carried Himiko back to her room. If the alcohol would piss them off, smoking certainly would. Then again, she wondered why Shuichi had a lighter in the first place.

Maki grabs her jacket and shuffles outside onto the little stoop they have for a patio. Each drag of the cigarette centers her, reminds her that she’s still whole. Maybe whole. Was she ever whole? If she watched Danganronpa-

_She didn’t. She only auditioned for the show to make money for the orphanage. She-_

Hacking and sputtering, Maki slides down against the wall, cradling her head in her arms. Thick, fat tears roll out, extinguishing the cigarette and leaving her completely in the night darkness. Why did she do this? _Why am I smoking, why did I audition, why do I still miss Kaito, why why WHY_

After a few minutes, she pulls out another cigarette and lights it. She makes it through the whole thing and stamps it out with the palm of her hand. She slips back inside and hides the rest of the pack under the couch.

That night, Maki dreams of Kaito and wakes up clutching her pillow like a child.

. . .

For Shuichi, it started the day he went back to his life before Danganronpa.   
  
The alleyway behind Uncle's house was abandoned aside from a few trash cans. And considering the time of night, he wasn't going to be disturbed. He glanced up at the moon, and-

 _"It's a soothing song that calms your heart, like the moon's reflection on water..."_   
  
Shuichi shook his head. "No. Not now. I can... Later." He fumbled with the lighter he stole from the kitchen drawer- it must be Uncle's, he had noticed a pack of cigarettes nearby and with Uncle's cough, who else could it be?- before finally getting a small flame.   
  
He lifted the poster, regarding the girl posing on it. How innocent and non-assuming yet utterly _malicious_ she appeared. Maybe she only looked more threatening after meeting her in person. Sort of. "Were you ever real to begin with? Was I? Was- who cares?" he mumbled before letting the fire spread across Junko Enoshima's body. "It doesn't matter. All that matters is that you and your despair are _gone_."   
  
He dropped the poster in one of the trash cans, lid at the ready to snuff out the fire once the poster was little more than ash. But his fingers rose, lingering by the heat. He sucked in a breath. Shuichi could feel the fire tickling the pads of his fingers, warning him to stay away... but he couldn't. His fingers grew closer and closer until they were centimeters from being set ablaze. And then he touched the fire.  
  
The pain was excruciating and exquisite. He desperately wanted to scream, yell out in agony, but instead he just drew them away slowly. He set the lid back down on the can and waited until the smoke dissipated. Later, as he ran the burn under cold water, he was struck with one thought.   
  
The pain was real, and that meant he was too.  
  
And he needed to know he was real.

. . .

He keeps doing it.

At first, it’s not intentional. He runs the shower a little too warm, sits a little too close to the heating vent. Maybe his hand lingers near the stove. But the heat keeps finding Shuichi. Or rather, he’s seeking it out.

He buys a lighter of his own one day, hiding it in an unused drawer of the kitchen. When the thoughts get to be too much, he pulls it out and runs to his room. If Himiko and Maki are suspicious of him, they don’t call him out.

Shuichi starts with his thumb, moving along his left hand until each digit is screaming. He dunks his hand in the bowl of ice water he prepared. He’ll lose feeling in his hand eventually, he reasons. The nerve damage will be irreversible after a certain point. It’s a fact that should bother him a lot more than it should.

Because, in some twisted way, he _envies_ his hand. It won’t _feel._ It won’t weep when it hears piano music in the distance, or there’s a report about space travel on the news, or even when someone announces they’ve been lying. His hand won’t suffer from that the way Shuichi’s heart does.

But logic wins out, as always. Ironic, really, that the personality they gave him to kill him with- calculating, intelligent, analytical- is keeping him alive. He’d laugh if he wasn’t so numb.

He puts the lighter back in the drawer and tries not to meet Maki’s eyes as he lifts Himiko off of the floor.

. . .

“Shuichi? Might I ask what you’re planning on doing with that lighter?”

Since Keebo arrived, the urge hasn’t been as strong. He’s able to fight it most of the time. Maybe it’s having another friend around, or maybe it’s how oddly distracted Shuichi feels around him. If he was of more sound mind, maybe he would investigate further. As is, he dismisses it and focuses on reality.

But then he went out to grab a few emergency groceries, and he met _her,_ and- and he needs to double check that it’s not a hallucination. That _her_ number is still in his phone, that he’s not imagining _her_ actually existing. So as soon as he got home, he dropped the bags by the door and grabbed his lighter. _If I hurt, if there’s pain, she’s real._

“I’m, ah, lighting a candle,” he says quickly.

Keebo scans the room. “But Shuichi, you don’t have any candles in here. Unless you bought some while you were out, but that seems unlikely.”

Shuichi inhales sharply. “Keebo, I’m-I’m- it’s complicated, and…” He’s fidgeting with the lighter now, flame sputtering to life. His forefinger brushes the heat and he hisses.

“Please be careful! You could burn yourself!”

_“That’s the entire point!”_

He’s shaking and the lighter has fallen to the floor, flame gone. He follows it. “That’s… that’s the point, Keebo,” he whispers. “I feel… promise me you won’t tell the others.”

Keebo frowns and looks as if he wished he could be closer to Shuichi. Be with him physically. “But why? Why do you hurt yourself?”

Shuichi shakes his head. “It’s… it’s really complicated, Keebo. But… I’ll explain it to you, later. Just let me do this. Please,” he says softly.

“I’m not just going to sit by and watch you hurt yourself-”

In a flash, he’s on his feet and slamming the laptop closed. Shuichi picks the lighter back up and brings it to his palm, flicking-

Flicking-

The flames don’t come. He can’t _make_ himself do it. He can’t, not with Keebo’s worried expression burning in his mind. Shuichi throws the lighter against the wall and curls up on his bed. He doesn’t need the fire, he’s already in _too much pain-_

Maybe he falls asleep, maybe he doesn’t, all he knows is that he’s crying and he only opens his eyes when his phone buzzes. He reads the message, and it’s from _her._

He leaves Keebo shut, for the moment. He’s still hurting, but he can explain in time. Keebo deserves the truth.

The lighter lays abandoned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed to write this chapter to show that these kids are still broken. That they aren't going to heal magically. But they will get better, in time. 
> 
> But the real question, who is the "her" that Shuichi is thinking about? You'll find out in the next chapter.


	8. Those Left Behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three very different people, three very different views, but one thing in common: 
> 
> Danganronpa changed their lives forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise early update! This is to make up for the hiatus(es... thanks real life) and also because I really wanted to share this chapter with you all. It was so much fun to write this and create these scenarios.
> 
> ALSO!! I want to give a huge thanks to clayfangirl on tumblr for the  adorable fanart they drew for this, seriously am I still screaming and they are a delight. If you'd like to make your own fanart, I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER HOLY FUCK

Himiko meets her in the rain. 

She sees her on a bench in the miniscule park a few blocks away from their apartment. In hindsight, the coincidence is extraordinary- what are the odds she would be anywhere near where they lived? But there she is, shivering as the sky pours around her. Himiko can’t tell if she’s crying or if the rain is just staining her cheeks. Her pretty red cheeks.

She’s beautiful. Himiko thought that when she first saw her, too. Her strawberry-blonde hair, her petite figure… she’s nothing like Tenko, but maybe that’s for the best. Himiko walks up to her and holds out her umbrella. “Mind if I join you?”

She looks up her and shrugs. “If you want… I don’t suppose you want an autograph, then?” she asks as Himiko takes a seat. The umbrella rests between them, and Himiko resists the urge to let it go and grab her trembling hand. 

“No… I mean, I know who you are. Haruka Miyamoto, right?”

Haruka nods. “The Ultimate Soap Maker… or so I thought. Now I don’t know what I am.” She rubs her eye with the back of her hand. “I just… I want to leave it behind, but I never can… Every other person I see wants a photo or to tell me how they loved my plotline or wondering what my- my execution would’ve been like.”

Himiko sighs. “I know… I wish I could forget, too. But our experiences in there aren’t going away… we just have to become our own selves outside of Danganronpa,” she says quietly. 

For a moment, the rain drowns out even their breathing. Then Haruka laughs. It’s not a happy sound; it’s bitter, cold, and unbelieving. “What would you know about Danganronpa?” 

_ Crap. I shouldn’t have said- but. She deserves to know. Maybe we can… Tenko would want me to.  _ “Cuz I lived through it too,” she explains, lowering her hood to fully reveal her face. “My name is Himiko Yumeno, and I was the Ultimate Magician.” 

 

. . .

 

It’s the birthmark, Maki thinks. Or her eyes. But there’s no other explanation for how this kid recognizes her.

He stares at her, eyes that same purple shade she grew to loathe in the academy. The boy can’t be much older than five or six, far too young to be exposed to what she knows, but he waddles over and smiles. “You were on TV with Kichy!” 

Maki blinks. “Kic- oh, you mean Kokichi. Yeah, I was.” 

The kid laughs and bounces on his heels. “You were so cool! And so was Kichy! He acted so funny, though, but-but Kichy always likes playing games with me, so was this another one of his games?” The words sting.  _ He doesn’t know. He  _ **_can’t_ ** _ know.  _

“In a way, yeah. Kokichi wasn’t the biggest fan of this game, though.” She gnaws at her thumb and adds “I don’t think any of us where” under her breath. 

“That’s so weird! Kichy loves all sorts of games, like checkers and hide-and-seek and Pokemon and- and-” The kid falls silent for a second, looking at his sandals sadly. “He probably isn’t happy that he lost, though,” he says, tugging on his shorts. 

Maki’s heart stops for a beat. Some part of her wants to scoop this kid up and hug him, tell him that Kokichi may have lost, but he won in his own way, and she doesn’t like it. She doesn’t know where the emotion is coming from. The orphanage? The Ultimate Child Caregiver cover up? Her own maternal instinct? 

_ Does this kid know? _

“Is it cuz he lost that he’s not back home yet?” he asks quietly. 

_ Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes- How do I tell a little kid his brother is dead? That I’m the reason he’s dead? _

She grabs her bag and walks away from the bus stop as the kid starts crying behind her. Good. She never cared for children and never will. 

They ask too many questions.

. . . 

 

Shuichi leaves the apartment the least. It’s out of necessity; he’s the most recognizable due to his importance in the trials. It’s up to Himiko and Maki to take care of errands most of the time. But with Himiko sick with a cold from being in the rain and Maki laid up as well, it falls to Shuichi to buy the needed provisions. 

He’s absentmindedly playing with the box of tampons, flushing under the awkward stares he’s getting.  _ It’s just cuz you’re buying feminine hygiene products, not because they recognize you-  _ He’s too busy staring at his feet to notice the back he just walked into. “Ah, sor-” 

His throat dries up. The back belongs to a girl with medium-length blonde hair and a blue school uniform.  _ The same one from the video Tsumugi showed us- _

“Kaede?”

The girl turns around, and he’s met with the strong, unblinking gaze from brown eyes.  _ Brown- Kaede had purple eyes, so…  _ There’s a scattering of freckles on her cheeks, too. But the similarities are still there, in the eye shape, hair color, and downturned lips. 

She sighs through her nose. “No, I’m no- wait. I know your voice.” Those brown eyes flicker up at Shuichi’s hat and she inhales sharply. “Then… you lived. Unless that’s just a really convincing impression and cosplay, but I somehow doubt it.” 

Shuichi blinks, taken aback by her bluntness, but eventually shakes his head. “N-no, it’s… I’m real. I’m… you can’t-” 

The woman behind the Kaede lookalike grabs her shoulder and glares at him. “You’re the reason she’s dead, you know.” 

The girl turns to the woman. “Mother,  _ please,  _ we’re in public-”

“I don’t know how you survived, but you shouldn’t have. ‘Ultimate Detective,’ pah. A real detective would’ve known my daughter was innocent! It should’ve been you that died!” 

“MOM!” the girl yells, spinning on her heel and facing her mother. “Shuichi couldn’t have proven Kaede innocent, the evidence wasn’t available- and Kaede  _ died  _ thinking she was guilty! She went into that game knowing she would probably die! Let him be!” The outburst has drawn the attention of the other shoppers, and Shuichi instinctively lowers his hat. They probably already figured out who he was, given what the argument was about…  _ Team Danganronpa can’t sue him for this, could they? It’s not really his fault any of this happened, but if he hadn’t said her name-  _

“Shuichi? Shuichi, it’s OK. It’s just us, you don’t have to be afraid anymore.” 

He opens his eyes to find the girl leaning over him. He’s curled up against the shelf, hands over his ears, and the girl is patting his knee softly. She smiles, and it’s achingly familiar. “Kaede…” he whispers. He knows it’s not her, it  _ can’t  _ be her, but they’re so alike that he can’t imagine it being anybody else-

“No, not Kaede. I’m Kazue. Kaede is- well, was- my twin,” she explains, sitting down next to him. 

“Kazue,” he says, tasting the syllables on his tongue.  _ So another thing Tsumugi didn’t lie about- Kaede did have a twin sister.  _

She smiles lightly. “Yeah. And you’re Shuichi Saihara, the boy who ended Danganronpa. If you’re still alive, then are Maki and Himiko-”   


“Yeah,” he croaks out. “Yeah, all three of us. A-and Keebo, too, we recovered his AI- but you can’t tell anybody,” he says quickly, biting his lower lip. 

Kazue mimes zipping her lips shut, grinning growing ever wider. “I won’t tell a soul… in exchange for something.” Shuichi feels himself blanche at her words, and she stifles a laugh behind her hand. “I mean your number, Shuichi. I think… I think it might be good for us to be friends. If you want, that is.” 

And he does. More than he’s wanted a lot of things lately. A friend who didn’t go through Danganronpa with him. Someone other than Keebo or Maki or Himiko. He knows that this is a dangerous and slippery path- one false move and he’ll fall, just like he did for Kaede. Or maybe he won’t; maybe he only fell for Kaede because-  _ it’s your choice, Shuichi. Not anybody else’s. Your choice. _

“I’d like that, yeah.” 

The smile he gets is blinding, and he can’t help but grin back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun beta fact: Originally, Maki was going to meet one of Rantaro's siblings, but then I decided that Kokichi's younger brother would be a better idea. 
> 
> Anyway, both Haruka and Kazue are going to be pretty important characters from here on out! You'll be seeing them again in future chapters.


	9. Overdue Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shuichi gets one more chance to say goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I'm mostly moved in and settled, which means that I should be able to get back into regular posting again soon! And can I just say how supportive you've all been during the hiatus? Really, it means the world to me. Thank you.
> 
> And another HUGE thank you to not only clayfangirl for some more [fantastic art](https://clayfangirl.deviantart.com/art/reboot-and-try-again-hurt-740871798) of chapter 7, but also to wishfulfeline and her [art of Himiko and Haruka](https://www.instagram.com/p/Bhz9hlhh-nm/?taken-by=wishfuldraws) in chapter 8!! (Also, go check out Wishful's fics on here, they're all great!)
> 
> EDIT: I commissioned robo-ahoge to draw [Kazue](https://n00dl3gal.tumblr.com/post/174190685882/robo-ahoge-commission-for-n00dl3gal) and she turned out fantastic!! Thank you again!!

He does reopen the laptop. “I’m sorry,” he says as soon as Keebo’s sprite appears.

“Shuichi, what the- what the  _ hell  _ was that all about?” Keebo demands, lip quivering. It pains Shuichi more than the lighter ever did to see his friend in this state. “Why were you hurting yourself? Answer me, Shuichi!” 

“I… it’s really complicated, Keebo, but I… it reminds me I’m real. That I’m here and I’m not still in the killing game,” he explains quietly. “I know that’s not really an adequate explanation, but it’s the best one I have.” 

“But you are real,” Keebo pleads. “You have a body, and a mind, and a heart… you’re more real than I am,” he added sadly. 

Shuichi shakes his head, rubbing at his eyes with his sleeve. “Don’t say that, Keebo. You’re real, too.” He exhales through his nose. “I’ll do my best to elaborate but I can’t promise it’ll make much sense, alright?” Keebo nods. “I keep… feeling like I’m being sucked back into the Killing Game. I’m reminded of the others and it hurts. I’m not saying I want to let them go, because their deaths are a part of me. I’m going to be carrying their burdens for the rest of my life.” He pulls off his cap and throws it to the side. “I just wish I had a chance to apologize. To say goodbye.” 

Keebo looks contemplative for a moment before whispering “...what if you could?”

“H-huh? What?”

“I’ve been investigating the functions I’ve been equipped with while I’m confined to the laptop, and it seems that Team Danganronpa took your wish to make me into another Alter Ego to heart. I have the ability to emulate our friends, at least temporarily.” He smiles sadly. “I can’t promise they’d be the most accurate or flattering imitations, but if you wanted to speak to them one last time, I’d be more than happy to provide.” 

Shuichi blinks, slowly, and picks up the computer. He sets on the carpet as he sits down. “Y-you’d do that for me? Keebo, I d-don’t know what to say-” 

“It’s the least I can do. After all, you saved me from death, in a way. It’s my turn to save you.” 

The words nearly make Shuichi shiver. He restrains himself, though, and replies with a nod. “Y-yes, I’d like that a lot. Um… can you do any of the other students?”

“I can, but if you have a problem with Himiko or Maki, I suggest talking to them directly. And if it’s acceptable with you, I’d like to refrain from acting as Tsumugi.” Keebo’s eyes droop. “If you don’t mind.” 

“No, I absolutely do, I understand,” Shuichi reassures him. “Uh… I know you weren’t that fond of him, but perhaps I could first speak to Kokichi? If you’re comfortable with it, of course.” 

Keebo smiles sadly. “I have no problem with it for a brief period. Truth be told, I think his antagonistic tendencies was just common bullying, a right of passage for any human… a-anyway!” Keebo scrunches his eyes shut and after a second, his face changes to a boy with purple-black hair and a Cheshire cat smile. “Hey, Shuichi! Missed me, did you? That’s good, cuz I missed you too!” 

It’s jarring to see this perfect replica of Kokichi in front of him, but Shuichi exhales and focuses.  _ Be quick, for Keebo’s sake.  _ “That’s probably a lie, isn’t it?”

“Neeheehee, you know me so well!” 

“Ke-Kokichi, I know it may seem like your plan failed… but you succeeded. Your death was what lead to the end of the Killing Game, even if it wasn’t in the way you intended. So… thank you,” he says, playing with the carpet. 

The image of Kokichi rolls his eyes. “Maaan, it’s no fun if you thank me for it! But… you’re welcome, I guess. Just don’t go forgetting about me!”

Shuichi can’t help but laugh behind his hand, just a bit. It’s less happy and more bitter, but it’s still a laugh. “I don’t think I could. G-goodbye, Kokichi.” 

Kokichi giggles, one last time, and morphs back into Keebo. “How was that?”

“Amazing,” Shuichi says kindly. “The impression was very accurate.” 

Keebo beams, sprite nearly glowing. “Thank you! Is there anybody else you wish to speak to?”

Shuichi scratches his chin. “Ah, yes, if you’re alright with it… Kaito, please.” 

“Hmm, that makes sense. You two were fairly close- I believe he called you his ‘bro?’ I’ll do my best to emulate him!” Once again, Keebo’s image shifts, this time being replaced with the toothy grin of the Ultimate Astronaut. “There’s my sidekick! How’re you holding up?”

He doesn’t respond at first. Seeing Kaito again… he forces his tears back. “I-I’m… I’m not fine,” he says truthfully. “I’m really not. I miss you a lot, Kaito. So does Maki.” 

“Man, don’t be like that… like, you’re allowed to miss me and shit, but you’ve gotta keep moving forward, yeah? Don’t linger on the past!” Kaito tells him, pumping his fist. 

Shuichi rubs the back of his hand against his eye. “I’m trying. We all are. It’s just… it’s hard to keep fighting without your optimism to guide us.” 

Kaito flushes a little, saying “bro… look, I get it’s tough. Finding out that everything was fake… that’s not fun. I don’t blame any of you for falling apart like this. But you have to keep at it!” There’s a blinding smile and a thumbs up from the computer. “If you give up, it means they’ve won! And I didn’t die so you guys can quit after I’m gone!” 

“Alright, alright…” Shuichi concedes, lips upturning a smidge. “I’ll keep fighting. Even if it seems impossible.”

“Dude, what did I always tell you?” Kaito chastises him, rolling his eyes. “The impossible is possible…” 

“All you have to do is make it so,” Shuichi finishes. “I know. Thank you, Kaito.” 

“Hey, before I go, how’s Maki Roll doing?” The question catches Shuichi off guard- he knows it’s still Keebo impersonating Kaito, but Keebo knows how Maki is…  _ Is this… Kaito, is this really you? _

He blinks to clear his head and shrugs. “Alright, I suppose. She’s still fairly secretive. But she cut her hair short… it suits her a lot. It’s unfortunate you aren’t able to see it.” 

Kaito’s lips quiver, just for a second. “Heh, don’t say that. I may still get a chance. You never know…” And with that, the image fades once more. “Did I go overboard there?” asks Keebo. 

“N-no, that… that was very convincing,” Shuichi stammers. “And perhaps Maki would like to speak with him, we’ll have to ask her.” 

“Yes, I’d love to help her and Himiko as well, if I can! But let’s finish your session for now,” Keebo says. “Do you wish to speak with anybody else?”

He does. Of course he does. He has the chance to see  _ her  _ again, even if it’s only pretend. And she’d be more real, in a way, than Kazue is. The name sits on his tongue, he needs to say it,  _ say her name Shuichi, say her name and condemn her to death-  _

“Kaede,” he murmurs.

To his credit, Keebo doesn’t say anything. He just nods and allows his form to change. And it shouldn’t be a shock seeing her, he more or less encountered her earlier when he met Kazue, but. But. 

“Hey, Shuichi,” she says, smiling gently. “I bet you have a lot to say, but allow me to start? I’m proud of you.” 

_ But it’s as close to Kaede Akamatsu as he may ever get. _

“W-why..?” he croaks out, biting the inside of his cheek. He tastes blood, and it’s as sour as his words. “How could y-you be proud of me? I-I  _ failed  _ you, I l-let you  _ die,  _ Kaede I’m so sorry, I’m the reason you’re dead-” 

Kaede shakes her head, blonde locks whipping across the screen. “The reason I’m dead is because the decisive evidence was hidden. You don’t have to be sorry for not solving the case at the time, because you did in the long run,” she explains. “And you kept our promise! How could I not be proud of you?”

“I-I should’ve been a better detective, I should’ve noticed  _ something _ -” 

"Shuichi, I've made peace with it. I died thinking I killed Rantaro and I have no regrets. Because you did fulfill my wish. You found the mastermind and ended the killing game. That's all that matters to me. So please," the image of Kaede says, "let that be enough for you too."    
  
And it should be, but the tears and sobs won't cease. Shuichi is hacking and curling his fists into the rug, his hat has fallen off, and he knows he must look a right mess. He feels like one. He is one. "B-but- but- Kaede, I-"   
  
"Shuichi..."   
  
"I couldn't- I wasn't strong-"   
  
"Shuichi-"   
  
_ "I failed you-" _   
  
_ "SHUICHI!" _

He snaps back upright and looks at the computer. Keebo is back, concern blatant. "Shuichi, please... I regret suggesting this idea now, truth be told. It seems to have had a negative reaction on you, rather than make you feel better."    
  
"N-no, that's wrong, Keebo," Shuichi whispers, wiping his nose with his sleeve. "I do... I feel a lot better now, actually. Having gotten it out of my system and all. I can't say I'm at peace quite yet," he explains, picking up the computer, "but I am more at ease."    
  
Keebo brightens, both his face and the entire screen. "Really? That's excellent! I'm glad I could help! Oh, but..." He glances over at the lighter. "You said the pain helped, right? Maybe all those tears are why you feel better," he theorizes.    
  
Shuichi nods. "It's a possibility, yeah. But I don't... I don't feel like using it. At least not right now."    
  
"That's a relief" comes the quiet reply. "Seeing you in pain... it makes me sad. It might hurt me as much as it hurts you."    
  
The words claw beneath the scars on Shuichi's heart and makes him want to scream. But this pain is good, it's something familiar and primal and contradictorily  _ soft _ . He doesn't know why, but Keebo's concern and empathy makes him... giddy.    
  
(He has an idea as to why, but going down that path is dangerous and he's not ready.)   
  
"I feel the same way, Keebo. Seeing you suffer is equally painful for me as well."

Keebo grins and points at the lighter. "Then maybe we should put that away? I know... I know you may still need it again. You might need to hurt to feel better, as much as it disturbs both of us. But I'd rather you call on me than harm yourself, Shuichi. Alright?" Shuichi nods, throat tight. "It's not a bother. I'm happy to be of assistance any way I can." He nods again and takes the lighter, leaving the bedroom. Shuichi drops it in the drawer in the kitchen, shutting it with a firm push.    
  
"You already help me, Keebo. Far more than you realize."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't lie, this chapter made me cry. It was a challenge, too, since I haven't written as Kokichi or Kaito before. (BTW, what's up with all the K names in DRV3? Kaede, Keebo, and Kirumi have K names too...)
> 
> I'm still working on the next chapter, but I'm super excited to show it to you guys! In the meantime, my fic for the saiibo exchange will be going up on Sunday!


	10. Ultra Despair Sisters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _And if they ever hear my name_   
>  _Will they know I walked alone_   
>  _Around these dusty streets, my tired old home_
> 
>  
> 
> -"Die Anywhere Else," _Night in the Woods_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Early upload time!!
> 
> I finished this chapter earlier than expected and was so excited to share it with you that I decided to post it before Wednesday. Also Wednesday is my sibling's birthday, so.

The coffee shop she picked is nice, Shuichi thinks. A good distance from the apartment, but not too far; busy, but not crowded. Affordable, too, with a decent variety of both drinks and snacks. He has no real complaints on the location, even he still fears being in public for so long. The company, however, he still has to judge. 

After all, his first impression of Kazue Akamatsu… might not have been the best. 

Kazue takes a sip from her mug and smiles at the boy in front of her. “So,” she says, resting her chin on her steepled fingers, “where should we start?”

Shuichi scratches the back of his neck. “Ah, that’s… a good question. I suppose you’re wondering how I’m still alive…” 

“Not really,” she says with a shrug. “Keebo’s camera feed was cut off just before he began destruction of the school. I always just assumed that he had his own free will again and saved you three by his own choice.” 

“I don’t really know for certain, to be honest,” Shuichi confesses. “I’ve yet to approach the topic with him, you see. His memories of the incident- indeed, that entire morning- are a little fuzzy.” 

“Makes sense. So you were able to recover his AI, too?” She takes a bite of her cookie, crumbs staining her upper lip.  _ They match her freckles _ , Shuichi thinks.

Shuichi nods. “It took some debating and pressure but yes, we were able to.” 

Kazue smiles and chuckles a bit. “Eh, I’m sure you have plenty of experience with debating by this point, Shuichi. Kinda what you were known for, leading all those class trials. I’m assuming, at least,” she adds, looking to the side. 

“Ah… did you not tune in, then?” Shuichi asks awkwardly, pulling his hat down. 

She shakes her head, stirring her drink. Shuichi takes another sip of his own coffee as she sighs. “I couldn’t handle seeing what they had done to Kaede. And it wasn’t like I had to watch it. Everybody at school constantly talked about how well she was doing, how brave she was, and then… well. You know.” 

“Yeah.”  _ Her dangling, bruised body, it couldn’t be real. It had to be a fake, she must’ve- but then the lid shut, and Monokid’s head bounced towards them, covered in her blood, she was… she was…. _

“Hey, snap out of it, you’re in a coffee shop, not the academy, Shuichi.” 

He blinks and exhales. “Ah, sorry… a-anyway, if you’d still like to talk with her, I could arrange something that would do in a pinch. Keebo’s been outfitted with the ability to mimic the other students!” he explains happily. “It’s not perfect, but I’m sure you could talk to your sister again, if you so desire.” 

Kazue stares at him, silent, before pinching her nose. “No. That’s the last thing I want to do, Shuichi. I don’t want to talk to Kaede.” Her eyes grow dark and steely and she glares at him, beyond him, glares at the world. “Because the only ‘Kaede’ you, or Keebo, or anybody else for that matter knows is  _ not  _ my sister.” 

“Wha… are you saying you aren’t actually siblings? I’m… what?” Shuichi stammers. Is he being had? Is she a plant from Team Danganronpa? What does that mean?

Kauze sighs and rubs her temples. “Alright. I dunno if you know this, maybe you do already, but when you become a contestant on Danganronpa, you don’t go in as yourself. Almost everything about you except your name is altered and recreated. You become whoever Team Danganronpa wants you to be.” 

Shuichi nods, once, looking down. “I… yeah. I know.” “ _ And I mean that, anything. I’d do… anything to be a part of Danganronpa.” _

She brushes a stand of hair from her eye. “What they wanted Kaede to be was strong, independent, but friendly and approachable. The ideal protagonist. But that wasn’t the Kaede I knew. My Kaede, the Kaede I consider to really be my sister… she was none of that.” Kazue laughs, coldly, shutting her eyes. “Well, no, that’s not entirely true. Kaede was independent, I’ll give her that. But not in the way that would work for a killing game.” 

“...what was she like, then?”

Kazue thinks for a moment before saying “distant. She didn’t really trust anybody. The closest she was to a person was me, and I’m pretty sure it was cuz we came out of the womb together. If she ever got close to somebody, it was only to use them to her advantage. She always assumed they were doing the same,” she explained. 

_ “I’m perfect for a killing game. I don’t have any faith in humanity.” _

“But more than anything else,” Kazue continued, taking another bite, “Kaede wanted attention. Sharing your identity with a twin, I get it, you get lumped together. She wanted her own identity. But… but I dunno, it was something different with her. She craved… talent.” She leans back in her chair. “Yeah, she was always trying different sports and instruments and hobbies, hoping that she’d be some prodigy at them. Never was, obviously. Maybe if she had kept at one of them for more than three days, she would’ve gotten somewhere.” Shuichi huffs out a laugh, quietly, and Kazue’s lips upturn. “But if you were on Danganronpa, they gave you a talent. They would make you an Ultimate. And I can’t be sure, but… but I think that’s what Kaede wanted most of all.” 

Shuichi nods, tapping his chin. “Talent… but she no doubt knew she’d be in danger and most likely die. Not to mention her identity would be completely erased,” he says. 

“Oh, she knew alright,” Kazue counters. “When she told me she had auditioned, you know what she told me? ‘This is my chance, Kazue. People will know my name for my talent. People will remember my name.’” She pauses for a second and takes a deep breath, lower lip quivering. “I asked her if she was really OK with giving up her identity like that, and she… she said ‘I’d rather die as somebody talented than live as boring old Kaede Akamatsu.’” 

They sit in silence for a few moments as Shuichi tries to process it all. The girl he knew… just another lie created by Danganronpa. Was there anything real? Was there? Where was his lighter  _ he needed to feel real- _

“That’s not to say your experiences aren’t real in their own way,” Kazue suddenly adds. Shuichi looks up and places his hands on the table to ground himself. “Like, yeah, the day my sister didn’t show up to school is the day she died to me. But a new Kaede was born that day, too, and that’s the Kaede you knew.” She shrugs. “We just have two very different versions of her in our lives. So no, I don’t want to talk to Kaede through Keebo,” she says sweetly, “but I’m happy you’re able to.” 

It’s enough to kill the urge for pain, at least for the time being.  _ My Kaede was real. Kazue’s sister is real, too. It’s just a matter of which came first.  _  He’s not sure how much longer he’ll last, though, as his hands shiver. "I'm just glad I was able to apologize to her, even if it wasn't directly," Shuichi says, setting aside his coffee. "Keebo... has been very helpful in allowing me to work through my regrets in that regard."    
  
Kazue nods and wipes away the crumbs of her cookie. "Shame we didn't get to know the real Keebo," she muses, "seeing as the one time he wasn't under the audience control was when his signal was broken."    
  
Shuichi looks away, biting his lower lip. "Yeah..."   
  
"Oh Shuichi, I'm sorry-"   
  
"It's alright," he insists, but his voice still shakes. "The true Keebo... I would not call him malicious, but he was less concerned for our well-being. He still wanted to keep us safe from harm, but was more worried about the world at large than just us. Nevertheless... he spared us when he destroyed the school, so I believe he did care." Talking about Keebo does help, oddly enough. His stomach goes from feeling nauseous to jittery. Well, maybe it’s less of an improvement and more of an equal trade.  
  
"Then he cared for you, even when he was completely wiped out," Kazue says quietly. She reaches across the table to place her hand on Shuichi's. The weight feels familiar, comforting, as it did a lifetime ago.    
  
_ "You must have noticed, huh? I'm shaking, too." _   
  
She smiles at him and it's blinding, the memory is breaking him in two, but he exhales slowly and grounds himself. He can fall apart later. "I have a feeling he cares for the three of you as much as you do for him.”

"H-huh? What do you mean?" Shuichi asks, jerking his hand away. The color rising to his cheeks makes Kazue giggle. "I mean, I do care for him, he's my friend but-"

"Just a friend, eh? Surprising," Kazue comments, sipping from her matcha au lait. "From the way you talk about him, I would think your feelings for Keebo run much deeper." Her lips are quirked upwards and there's a twinkle in her eye that Shuichi finds dangerous. "Shuichi, forgive me if I'm overstepping my boundaries, but it’ll probably good to examine your feelings closer." Her smile falls, just a little, and she adds, "Kaede… didn’t like talking about her emotions. Bottled them up, and she… well, you know.”

The rest goes unspoken, and the silence grows tense. "Anyway!" Kazue says loudly, clapping her hands. "I should get going, my mom is probably wondering where I am..." She stuffs her phone back into her purse and stands. "Text me if you wanna hang out again," she tells Shuichi. "And maybe put those skills of yours to work, detective boy," she teases, tugging his cap over his eyes. He lifts it just in time to watch her walk away. 

He slumps back into his chair and sighs. It's... possible that Kazue had a point. Those clawing thoughts and lurches in his stomach may be worth a second look.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my personal interpretation of pregame Kaede, based on both her audition tape and what we see of her in the prologue. And yeah, learning the truth is going to break Shuichi even more...
> 
> But! He's beginning to acknowledge his feelings for Keebo, and will continue to do so. And Kazue totally knows he's pining, even if he doesn't. 
> 
> I'll be going back to the every other Wednesday schedule for the next chapter, which I'm sure you'll all enjoy. Because there's finally, FINALLY a break from the angst. Just gay fluff. Pride month, y'all.


	11. Peace and Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He can smile again, and it doesn't feel like a mask.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised fluff. And gay.

He had forgotten what fun felt like.

Sitting here, surrounded by friends, playing Mario Kart on Haruka’s system… it was fun. It  _ is  _ fun. And Shuichi relishes it. 

Maki exhales as she finishes her final lap. “I warned you I would win. I have the best reflexes out of all of us.” 

“Nyeh, it’s not fair! You used a cheating spell!” 

Shuichi looks back at the two spectators on the couch. “Kazue, are you sure you wouldn’t like a turn? I don’t mind sitting a few games out…” 

Kazue shakes her head and slurps at the dregs of her matcha. “I’m really not one for video games, to be honest. At least not party games. The chaos tends to give me a headache. I do feel bad that Keebo can’t join in, though,” she says, looking at the laptop next to her. 

“It’s alright!” Keebo reassures them. “While I do enjoy video games, I understand my limitations in this form and am happy to watch and keep score. Although could someone plug me in? My battery is beginning to get a bit low.” 

As Kazue digs for the power cord, Shuichi turns his attention back to the TV. “I think… I remember playing the Wii version with my uncle. He would always pick Mario, and I would play as Toadette.” 

Haruka laughs. “You would be Toadette, Shuichi,” she sputters as her cursor highlights Daisy. “That’s… that’s hilarious, oh my God.” 

“I-I don’t play as her now, obviously! I prefer-” 

“Playing as Shy Guy, which is even more fitting,” Maki comments dryly, lips slightly upturned. Shuichi blushes and pulls his hat downward. 

Keebo clears his throat. “I wish you would stop picking on Shuichi like this, if he has fun playing as Shy Guy, then I say let him be.” Shuichi flushes even more and resists the urge to chuck his controller at the TV and hide in his room. “Anyway, since we’re on the topic, I pla-played as Luigi a lot.” 

Haruka leans in closer to Himiko. “Go with Baby Rosalina, she’s magical and adorable.” She mumbles something else that Shuichi can’t pick up, but has Himiko squealing between pursed lips. 

He returns his focus to the game, picking Twisted Mansion with a nod of approval from Maki. The race is going well when he hears Kazue shift behind him. “You don’t have to wear your hat inside, y’know,” she says bluntly. “We all know who you are, you don’t have to hide your identity.” 

Shuichi does his best to shrug while maintaining his grip on the controller. “True, but… my hair’s getting a bit long, and…” His voice trails off as he struggles to come up with an excuse. 

Kazue laughs. “Is that all? That’s an easy fix,” she says. He hears her rummage through her backpack and Shuichi blanches. “I’m not gonna cut your hair, if that’s what your afraid of. Trust me, Shuichi.” 

_ Trust me.  _ Words that seem so simple, but carry so much weight. Weight that crushes more than bones when it eventually falls down. And objectively, Shuichi knows he can trust Kazue. She has no reason to hurt him, nothing to betray his trust with. Even if she did try to harm him (or cut his hair), Maki would destroy her in a minute. But still. Trust is a scary thing to share. 

“Alright,” he breathes out. 

“Perfect! OK, this will only take a second. You keep on playing.” There’s a presence at his back and a second later, his hat is gone. “Huh, still have that cowlick…”

“Ahoge,” Haruka mutters, narrowly avoiding a red shell. 

He doesn’t take his hat off much these days, so it’s an odd but not unpleasant experience. The breeze blowing across his bare neck, on the other hand… but there’s no sound of scissors, even as his hair is pulled back and up. Kazue hums to herself and claps her hands. “Ta-da! Now it should stay out of your face!” 

“A… ponytail?” he asks, digging his phone out. He flips to the camera app and yes, Kazue pulled his hair back into a small ponytail just above the nape of his neck. “Ah… thank you, Kazue,” he says quietly. 

Maki taps his shoulder. “It suits you.” Himiko and Haruka agree, and for a moment, Shuichi’s fear is gone. 

It returns when he realizes that Keebo hasn’t said anything. “Keebo, do you not-” He twists to look at him, and realizes Keebo isn’t on the computer screen anymore. Most of him, anyway- only his eyes and hair poke out from the bottom of the screen. “Keebo?”

“A-ah!” Keebo yells, jumping back into view. His sprite is nearly glowing red. “It… it does look g-good on you, Shuichi…” Shuichi laughs awkwardly and thanks him before turning away to hide his own cheeks. 

But Kazue has already noticed. “Yeah, it works for you, but it’s a shame I can’t do Keebo’s hair too. I bet he’d look great with a ponytail, or maybe even some pigtails… what do you think, Shuichi?”

_ Keebo… with a ponytail?  _ The image comes to his mind, followed by the idea of Keebo with  _ pigtails…  _ He makes a garbled noise in the back of his throat and drops the controller, burying his face in his hand. The blue Shy Guy crashes into the wall, and Baby Rosalina speeds past and-

_ “I WON! I WON!”  _

Haruka is laughing right alongside Himiko. “Oh, I’m so proud of you, Mimi!” she says, planting a kiss on the smaller girl’s cheek. 

It’s still, for a moment. Shuichi swears his lungs stop. And then Kazue breaks, bursting into laughter and tears. “OH MY GOD! How long? Do you have a nickname for Haruka, Himiko? Who made the first move?”

“Kazue, ple-please! Allow them to answer on their own time!” Keebo admonishes, still blushing. 

Shuichi blinks before offering a kind smile. He leans over and pats Himiko’s shoulder. “I’m proud of you,” he says quietly, “both for winning the race and your relationship.” 

Himiko sighs and takes Haruka’s hand. “Nyehhh, alright… yeah, Haruka and I are dating. Have been fo-for a little while.” She awkwardly hides herself under Haruka’s sweatshirt hood. 

“It’s really none of your business what Mi-Himiko and I have done, Kazue,” Haruka says. “But for the record… she calls me Haru.” Shuichi swears, for a second, she might start preening. If nothing else, her smile is decidedly more smug. 

Himiko grumbles from beneath the hoodie. “I called you that  _ once,  _ stop spreading lies!” Haruka giggles and lifts her sweatshirt to kiss the mop of red hair. “Stooooooooppp!” 

Kazue falls into another burst of laughter. “God, you’re all gay disasters, you know that? Aren’t they, Maki?” she asks, winking at the other girl. 

Maki turns to her and shrugs. “I guess,” she says dryly. Her shoulders are hunched and she keeps fiddling with her pants pocket.  _ Guess she’s still struggling with larger groups,  _ Shuichi thinks. He starts to shift towards her when Kazue jumps in between them. 

“Doing Shuichi’s hair has reminded me how much fun it is to work with, I use to do Kaede’s but… yeah,” she mumbles, shooting an apologetic grin towards Shuichi. “Will you let me brush yours out? Pleeaaassseeee?”

Maki’s eyes flick between Kazue and Shuichi before she sighs. “Do whatever you want,” she concedes. She’s still on edge, that much is obvious, but there’s the ghost of a grin on her lips.

“Oooh! Can you style my hair next?” Haruka calls out. Himiko reemerges to comment that she could style it herself, if Haruka really wanted, prompting the taller girl to ask for braids. Something about the request causes Himiko to shudder, and it only takes a moment’s thought for Shuichi to understand.  _ Tenko wore her hair in braids too, didn’t she…  _

As the girls distract themselves, Shuichi joins Keebo on the couch. “I really am happy for them,” he says, motioning at Himiko and Haruka. 

Keebo nods, smiling as well, but there’s something in his eyes that seems distant. “I am, too. It… it takes a lot of bravery to address your feelings like that.”

Kazue’s words echo, as they have been for several days.  _ I would think your feelings for Keebo run much deeper.  _ And he wants to ask, he wants to think about it, but Keebo’s right. He’s not strong enough, not yet. He’s not even sure  _ what  _ he’s feeling quite yet. Instead, he asks “what was Kazue talking to you about while we were racing?”

“Oh, she drew-” 

But Shuichi’s attention is pulled away as Maki stands and walks into the kitchen. He sees her shuffle through a drawer before practically dashing through the main living area and slipping out the door. He shouldn’t think anything of it, Maki craves privacy. Her behavior the past few weeks- more distant and on edge than usual- worries him. And the fact that she was digging through the same drawer he kept his lighter in… 

_ Maki, you’re hurting yourself in your own way, aren’t you? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRICKED YOU! THE GAY WAS LESBIANS AND THE FLUFF TURNED TO ANGST! 
> 
> Also I need to focus on my personal life some and other projects... plus I haven't started the next chapter, like, at all... see you whenever I actually finish it!


	12. Communication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The smaller moments with a big impact.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A really short chapter this time, and arguably the only "filler" chapter of this fic. I'm hoping that the final four- yep, we're nearly there!- will make up for the lack of length (also cuz they'll all be MONSTERS).

Maki doesn’t look up when Shuichi pushes open the door. “You found my lighter,” he says without preamble. 

She shrugs. “You’re not that subtle. Your hands were starting to scar, and you kept going in that drawer…” 

He slumps down next to her, declining the cigarette she offers. “I’m glad it’s just smoking, though. I don’t… I don’t want you to end up like me.” 

“Beer, too, when I can get it,” Maki admits, taking another drag. “Although I’ve noticed you’ve been doing it less and less, lately.” 

Shuichi nods and rolls his head against her shoulder. She tenses, but doesn’t push him away; for that, he is grateful. “Keebo found out he can pretend to be the others. Whenever I feel like I’m not real, he lets me talk to them. Sometimes, of course, it’s not enough, but… it’s something. It’s more than I deserve.” 

Smoke pours from Maki’s nostrils as she closes her eyes. “We deserve a lot more than what we got, Shuichi. Or maybe we deserved nothing. Who the fuck knows anymore?”

They sit in silence for a while, nicotine filling the air, until Shuichi shifts. “Do you think Himiko knows?”

“Probably not. She’s still kinda lost in her own head.” She laughs, coldly, and again Shuichi is reminded that this was a woman who thought she had killed hundreds. 

The keyword being “thought,” but the mind is a powerful and dangerous thing. 

Quiet settles over them again. “Tell Keebo… I don’t know. Tell him that I’ll think about his offer, alright?”

Shuichi nods, and no more words are needed. 

. . .

She still questions her sanity. She knew she wasn’t strong enough to survive something like this. It’s not like her “kickboxing” was doing much of anything besides letting her vent her frustrations... Why did she think joining Haruka for her morning jog would be a good idea? Himiko’s pace slows as she takes in heaving pants of air, hands on her knees. 

Ahead of her, Haruka skids to a stop. She turns around, ponytail flipping across her face. “Don’t tell me you’re quitting already!” she teases with a laugh. 

Oh yeah,  _ that’s  _ why Himiko agreed. Because she’s a lesbian and Haruka is beautiful. 

“N-no,” she says, averting her eyes. Her ankles feel weak, and she’s not sure if it’s from the exercise or Haruka’s smile. “Just need-need a break, is all…” 

Haruka nods and places a hand on her shoulder. “Hey, don’t worry, alright? It’s your first time doing this kind of activity. It’ll be awhile before your body builds enough stamina to sustain the same pace as me.” Giggling, she bends over and pokes Himiko’s leg. “Besides, all you have are these cute little things. You’re so tiny!” 

And she’s already dying and they’re alone and she had promised Tenko. Himiko promised to be more open, to express her feelings, to not keep herself locked away. She promised herself the same after Maki took her away from her parents.  _ You never wanted me to show off this side of me. So that’s exactly what I’m going to do. _

She pulls on the drawstrings of Haruka’s sweatshirt and pulls her down into a kiss. 

It’s brief, and tense, neither of them moving. When Himiko backs away, she sinks to the ground, hands splayed on the sidewalk. _Please don’t hate me please don’t hate me I’m sorry_ ** _I’m sorry_** **_I’M SORRY-_**

Haruka kneels down next to her. “I was wondering when you’d make a move,” she whispers, nuzzling Himiko’s cheek with her nose. “You’re really adorable, you know that?”

Himiko groans, but she feels her heart stitching itself back together.

. . .

Keebo looks at Maki expectantly. “I’m ready whenever you are.” 

She still has doubts on how effective this would be, but if it was benefitting Shuichi, she might as well give it a shot. She’s lived through worse, she’s  _ done  _ worse, and it was all in good will. “Just do it,” she says, leaning back in the chair. 

And with a flash, Keebo is replaced by- “Maki Roll! It’s great to see you! How have you been holding up?”

It was like being stabbed in the stomach. At first, she feels nothing. Then a slow, searing pain overtakes her, spreading from her abdomen to the rest of her body. She’s entirely too warm but shivered anyway. Nothing in her field of view is clear, everything was blurry, it is  _ him  _ but it’s  _ not  _ and  _ she can’t take it-  _

“TURN IT OFF!” she shouts, standing so quickly that the chair falls over. “FUCKING STOP IT!” 

A second later, Keebo is back, flustered and stuttering. “I’m sorry, I thought-” 

“I don’t give a shit what you thought,” Maki spits out, gripping the edge of the table with white knuckles. “This was a shitty idea that I should’ve never agreed to.” 

Keebo sighs. “I was afraid of this reaction. While Shuichi’s condition has improved after our sessions, I warned him that they might not work for all of you,” he explains. 

Maki scoffs. “Yeah, they don’t. Tell Shuichi whatever you want though. I never want to see that crap ever again. You’re  _ not  _ him.” She runs from the kitchen, not even pausing to fix her chair. Keebo is left sputtering behind her. 

As the cold air of the night embraces her, she digs into her pockets, desperate for the nicotine to swallow her whole. Because for a second, she believed that Kaito Momota lived again. And she didn’t want to believe in anything. Belief hurt you, left you broken. Left you wanting more. 

Belief lead to trust, and all trust gave you was lies and heartbreak. 

. . .

“When are you going to tell them?” Haruka asks quietly, playing with Himiko’s hair as she sleeps in her lap. 

Kazue tugs at her hair. “Tell them what?”

“That you were a fan.” 

She sucks in a breath through her nose. “Shit, I was hoping I wasn’t that obvious… honestly, I’m surprised they haven’t figured it out by now, especially Shuichi. Detective and all that,” Kazue sighs, flopping onto her back. She glances at the laptop to make sure it’s shut. “And honestly, I wouldn’t call myself that big of a ‘fan’... I only watched your season and the rest of theirs. Believe me, there are bigger monsters out there than me.” 

Haruka nods sadly. “Yeah… but. They will figure it out eventually. And when they do-”

“I’ll tell them the truth,” she says softly. “But the truth is incredibly painful. They know that all too well already.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, the final four chapters are HUGE. It'll take me a while to finish, especially with work and other projects. So please understand if I fall behind on my schedule. I'll try not to, of course!
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me!


	13. 54, 55

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Killing Game, reborn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING FOR SELF-HARM, GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF VIOLENCE, AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS/ACTIONS.

_Six months ago- January, 20XX. Outside of the Ultimate Academy set._

_An unpaid intern scurries up to the lady with glasses. “It’s not really over, is it? I was promised a promotion-”_

_“No,” she interrupts him, glancing behind her at the three who cost them everything. “You’ll get your promotion, so stop whining. Danganronpa isn’t going anywhere.”_

. . .

When Shuichi sits down across from Kazue, she doesn’t say anything at first. She just looks at him regretfully. “Is-is something wrong?” he asks, voice cracking.

She sighs and switches her gaze to the left wall. “Auditions for seasons 54 and 55 have started,” Kazue says quietly.

His blood runs cold, and any thought of enjoying some tea dies as his stomach churns. “But… but the public swore off the show. The audience turned on it, gave up- how can there be another season?”

Kazue rubs her finger along the rim of her plate. “The show had already been renewed, from what I can tell. If it’s any consolation, it’s not going to be like the Killing Game you went through. They’re doing- how did the press release phrase it again?” She flicks through her phone and reads “‘A reimagining of the first two games that made Danganronpa a cultural touchstone.’ Sounds like they’re going to take the participants and give them the personalities and talents of the original characters and see what changes.”

“That doesn’t help at all! People are still going to _die_ , Kazue-” He’s cut off by her phone in his face, and his eyes catch a statement in bold: **All participants will be placed in a virtual world rather than a physical location. There will be no actual death.** “That… Miu still died,” he mumbles.

Kazue nods. “I know, but there’s at least the chance they might wake up in this scenario? If the thing is programmed correctly…” She exhales deeply and stares up at the ceiling. “But after these two seasons, it’s done. They’ve made that clear. They… want to go out with a bang.”

Shuichi snorts. “I think we provided plenty of ‘bang,’ if you ask me,” he says.

Kazue smirks. “Keebo certainly di- hey, stop kicking! You brought him back anyway, geez!”

Shuichi retracts his foot. “Don’t joke about that,” he says solemnly. “He barely remembers it, anyway. We’ve discussed and he… I’m fairly certain Team Danganronpa wiped his memory of the incident, or at least tried to.”

“Not surprising, really,” Kazue sighs. “I wouldn’t be surprised if they scrubbed a lot of his memory from when the feed was cut off. Seems like something they would do.”

“Yeah, it does.” He sets his elbows on the table and rubs his temples. “Should we tell the others?”

There’s a shrug and another glance out the window. “I mean, if you want. It’s probably better if you told them rather them finding out from somewhere else. The real question is… are you going to watch?”

He stares at her, unblinkingly, wondering if she’s serious. “...do you really think I could watch another one of those?” he asks, voice gravelly.

“I mean, you know it’s all virtual, so I was just curious! You don’t have to, obviously,” she reminded him, scratching the back of her neck. Her bangs rustle with the movement. “It was just a question.”

Shuichi shakes his head. “No. I’m not going to watch.” _The real question to me is… why did you get that email in the first place?_ He observes Kazue as she changes the subject and begins complaining about her lab partner at school.

_I’m not going to watch… but are you?_

. . .

As it turns out, he doesn’t have to tell Maki and Himiko. They inform him as soon as he returns to the apartment.

“I know,” he says, throwing his hat and bag into his room. “How’d you find out?”

“Me,” and for the first time, Shuichi notices Haruka laying on their couch. Himiko sits on the floor below her head, holding her hand. “I have to go in and make an appearance for the promotional material. And those… those are always the worst.”

Maki’s leaning against the doorway to the kitchen, fidgeting with her shorts. “Are they going to ask us to come?”

Shuichi shakes his head. “I somehow doubt it. While I seem to remember them mentioning we’d need to appear if the show was renewed, I might be wrong. I wasn’t… really paying attention.” Maki shrugs and Himiko smiles a little, which he interprets as them not blaming him. “Besides, they were very insistent that we keep our survival a secret to the world at large. I don’t think they’re going to risk ‘reviving’ us, as it were, just for some cheap advertisement.”

“From what I can tell online,” Keebo interrupts- he had been sitting on the coffee table the entire time- “season 53 wasn’t extremely popular, especially the ending. It’s very divisive, to say the least. There’s a lot of controversy surrounding Kaede’s death and the ending in particular.” His sprite stares at his digitized hands. “Can’t say I’m overly surprised.”

There’s a quiet murmur of assent around the room before Himiko sniffs. “I worry ‘bout you, Haru. You’ll have to see Takashi again, won’t you?”

“Who’s Takashi?” Keebo asks.

“The Ultimate Hockey Star, I believe,” Shuichi says, scratching his chin. “The other survivor alongside Haruka… excluding Rantaro, of course.” _The first body, blood splattered on the bookcase, why didn’t he noticed the pattern lining up, he could’ve saved her-_

Haruka groans. “Yeah, that’s him. You know how all of us were pretty damn pissed at learning the truth about the Killing Game?” There are nods across the room. “Yeah, well, Takashi was upset too… for about a day and a half.” She drapes an arm over her eyes. “He ended up embracing his new talent and celebrity status and ran with it.” She kicks the edge of the sofa in frustration. “And of course, when we were shooting promo pics for your season, he and Rantaro hit it off, and- and have I ever told you how much I _hate_ Rantaro? Killing your best friend like that, and in such a cowardly way…” Her face grows red and Himiko frantically pets her hand until she calms.

Shuichi grimaces. “He sounds… unpleasant,” he concedes.

“That’s not the worst part,” Himiko says. “He keeps asking Haruka to be his girlfriend. But not cuz he likes her or anything, they’d just be a good celebrity couple.”

“And I’ve told him repeatedly that I am not interested in men, which… I’ll spare you the details.”

Maki bites at her thumb. “I’m… sorry, Haruka. That sucks.” She looks at Shuichi. “My question is how the hell _you_ found out.”

Keebo nods. “I was wondering that myself. The only information I could find online was regarding the auditions, so unless you were planning on trying out again-”

“No no no!” he stammers, waving his hands. He slumps into a chair. “Kazue told me when we met up for coffee. She got an email about the auditions.” He doesn’t miss Maki’s eyes narrowing and the silent message they indicate. “...she asked me if I was going to watch,” he says quietly, folding his fingers together. “I told her no, of course, but… I was curious if any of you were considering.”

Himiko shakes her head. “N-not after season 52… I’ll watch the bit with Haru, though!” she adds, smiling at her girlfriend. Haruka responds by ruffling her hair.

“I had no plans of tuning in. That said, I am a bit curious if they’ll continue the ‘first-person perspective’ they toted regarding me. With it being virtual reality, it seems plausible,” Keebo explains.

All he gets from Maki was a flat “no,” but her expression betrays her once more. Shuichi exhales through his nose.

 _I know why she got the email too, Maki,_ he thinks to himself as he takes Keebo back to his room. _But… but I’m no detective, not anymore. I don’t have to face the truth quite yet._

. . .

He didn’t think about the new season again for a while. Sure, he was aware that Haruka went in to shoot promotional footage, but otherwise it never came up. Even Kazue was silent on the subject, which was odd. Everything about this situation was odd, to be honest.

Shuichi was reminded of the 54th season eventually, however.

It’s exactly 11:42 on a Tuesday night when he is reminded. He’s beginning to fall asleep, dreams already peeking into his brain, when his phone vibrates.

 _Kazue, 11:42 pm: Shuichi u need to see this_   
_Kazue, 11:42 pm: I know I shouldn’t show u this but u need to see it now and not later_   
_Kazue, 11:42 pm: it’s already going viral and_   
_Kazue, 11:43 pm: wake Keebo and the girls if u have to_  
 _Kazue, 11:43 pm: don’t watch it alone. Pls. idk if you’ll be ok_  
 _Kazue, 11:43 pm: <video link>   
Kazue, 11: 43 pm: DONT WATCH ALONE_

And then, the messages stop. Any drowsiness vanishes as he reads each new text. His finger hovers over the link, prepared to face whatever it is alone. Maki and Himiko deserve rest; whatever it is, it can’t be that bad, right?

(His intuition, the same one that made him a detective, the same one that he was inflicted with, coils around him. _Don’t watch alone._ )

With a sigh, he heaves himself out of his bed, already clamoring to return to the warmth of the sheets. Maybe he should wait until morning, but the blinding light of Keebo’s laptop wakes him up fully. “Huh? Shuichi, what are you doing up this late?”

“Kazue sent me a video link,” he explains, sitting at his desk chair. “Said not to watch it alone. I don’t wait to wake Himiko and Maki, though, but I figured…”

“Ah, that’s understandable! Here, forward the link to your email and I should be able to open it up on here, then we can both watch!” Keebo says. Shuichi follows the instructions and soon, a new tab opens up. As the video buffers, Shuichi takes a moment to read the title: _DANGANRONPA 54 SECOND EXECUTION!!! MAJOR SPOILERS, NSFW!!!_

His stomach curdles.

The video shows a girl with auburn hair in a side ponytail staring down her classmates. _“I don’t expect you to forgive me. I did something horrible, and now I must pay the price.”_

One of the other participants- he has a cowlick much like Shuichi’s, he must be the protagonist this time- starts to say something, but he’s cut off by the same bear that haunts his nightmares. _“Enough blabbity-blab, I’m a beary busy individual! Now then, I’ve prepared a very special punishment for Rei Yamazaki, the Ultimate Detective!”_

Keebo’s eyes widen as his focus shifts. “Oh no,” he breathes. Shuichi feels his palms sweat, and he digs the burned pads deeper into his skin.

_“Let’s give it everything we’ve got! Iiiiittt’s…. PUNISHMENT TIIIIIMMMEEE!!”_

Just as he remembers from a life ago, Monokuma hits the button in front of him with his hammer. A small pixelated version of Rei appears, and a Monokuma sprite drags her away. But before the screen fades, it darkens and a Monokuma puppet appears. _“Ahem… I realize this is a bit irregular, but we have a beary special announcement! Since this is our penultimate season, for the first time… we’re using a fan-submitted execution!”_

Realization hits, and Shuichi gasps. He’s shivering, but he’s so warm he wants to crawl out of his skin.

 _“I know, it’s exciting, right? And this execution was made by a very, VERY special fan who was… shall we say, ‘instrumental’ in making this season the way it was!”_ It’s meant to be a compliment, but Shuichi recognizes the underlying insult. _“It’s a really good one, too! So without further ado…”_ The puppet vanishes, and the video resumes.

And Shuichi knows exactly what’s about to happen before it does.

Rei is standing alone in alleyway, examining the chalk outline of a body. Behind her, a Monokuma appears and pulls her into a darkened room. A title card appears:   
  
_The Interrogation of Rei Yamazaki_ _  
_ _Ultimate Detective Execution: Executed_

Rei is tied to a chair with thick ropes, mouth covered with duct tape. A Monokuma begins pressing her for information- information which she can’t give, due to her mouth being covered. The bear begins torturing her, in hopes of getting answers. First, she’s zapped with a taser. Then, a modified version of waterboarding, which resulted in Rei hacking through her nose. Next was a technique known as “walling-” she was repeatedly slammed into a cold, brick wall by Monokuma. Her face was left bruised and bloody, and Shuichi heard the sickening and definitive _crunch_ of bones breaking.

He remembers, dully, that the schematics for this included the nudity method of torture. What little hope he has is spent on wishing they don’t use _that._

To his relief, they don’t; instead, they skip to the final interrogation method. What makes him bite his fist in anguish because of what that torture is. Two new Monokumas, dressed as police officers, wheel in a guillotine.

Keebo hides as best he can, and Shuichi closes his eyes so tight they hurt. It does little to mask the sound of the blade dropping and a life ending.

He reopens them to find a shot of Rei’s cold, lifeless eyes staring back at him. The Monokuma waddles over to the decapitated head and rips the duct tape off.

And then… it’s over.

Keebo’s hands are over his mouth. “Oh my God,” he whispers, eyes going pixelated due to their size. Shuichi falls off his chair, onto his knees, and the _memories-_

_Ripping the drawings off the wall, tears staining his cheeks._

_Kaede struggling to breath as her body flies up and down._

_Falling out of the locker, the flickers of something too tangible to be real-_

“I.. I killed her,” Shuichi breaths. He’s guilty, he’s guilty, he killed her it’s Kaede all over again he killed _her he KILLED HER-_

“Shuichi, it’s just a simulation! Pl-please, calm down!” Keebo urges, but his voice is cracking just as much. The sprite is quivering, tears beginning to stream. “Th-there’s a chance she’ll wake up, I-I’m sure Team Danganronpa will take e-every precaution to keep her s-safe-”

And he knows Keebo is right, he knows that Rei is probably just fine in the real world, but. BUT. He designed that for himself, he know he did, he _wanted_ to go through all that at one point. That could’ve been _him._

He’s dimly aware of Keebo yelling at him, begging him to calm himself, to relax and think things through, but all he can do is mechanically run to the kitchen and grab his lighter. _I deserve the same pain she went through, I killed her, I deserve to die, I wish I was dead I should be dead I want to be dead-_

The flames drift beyond his hand, even as he hisses in pain. The hem of his shirt, closest to the heat, begins to smolder. If he’s not careful, it’ll be set on fire. He’ll be set on fire. He wants to let it. Why bother letting it stop? _I want to die, I want to die, I want-_

_...but what about Keebo?_

It’s a pinprick of a voice, wedged deep in the back of his mind. But that whisper makes him pause, forces him to move his thumb off the trigger. It’s familiar, but indistinguishable. Sounds… vaguely like someone he thought he knew, but he can’t place the name. It grows louder, just by a hair.

_What will happen to Keebo when you die?_

The voice rises. _Think about Maki and Himiko, Haruka and Kazue. Think of the promises you made to Kaito and Kaede. Think about what it would mean to Team Danganronpa._

_You can’t let them win._

It’s barely enough, it’s barely a motivation, but he sets the lighter down regardless. His legs carry him back to his room, where Keebo waits, fear evident in his eyes. “Sh-Shuichi?”

He doesn’t answer, he just collapses to the floor, crying.

When morning finally comes, he looks up to see Keebo still watching him, and it nearly makes him smile.

His heart, for a moment, stops screaming.

 

. . .

 

 _To Shuichi, 12:35 am: i shouldn’t have sent you that_  
 _To Shuichi, 12:36 am: i fucked up didn’t i_  
 _To Shuichi, 12:36 am: please don’t watch it if you haven’t already_  
 _To Shuichi, 12:49 am: i’m sorry_  
 _To Shuichi, 1:22 am: next time we meet… i need to explain some stuff. [MESSAGE NOT SENT]_   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a lot to explain here, I know, but before I do here's  lovely art of Haruka by the fantastic Trophiss on Twitter. 
> 
> OK, so.
> 
> From the beginning, I knew a few things would happen in this fic. One was Kazue. Another was Haruka. The ending and Keebo coming back, that was certain as well. As was this. Because it didn't make sense to me that a show as apparently popular as DR was (seriously, _53 SEASONS?_ ) canceled that quickly. The execution part... that came later. It's mostly to drive home just how despicable TDR are. 
> 
> Furthermore, it's to highlight the secrets Kazue has and how close Shuichi is to revealing them... but without the threat of death, how he _won't_. But both he and Maki seem to know the truth, and Kazue seems remorseful... 
> 
> In brighter news, we now have a rough timeline!  
> Late January: The end of V3 (the game)  
> Early February: The gang moves in together  
> Late February/early March: Keebo arrives  
> Mid March: Himiko meets Haruka  
> Late March/early April: Shuichi meets Kazue  
> Late April/early June: Haruka and Himiko begin dating  
> Mid-to-late July: Auditions for season 54 and 55 begin  
> Mid August: Rei's "death"  
> And the next chapter has a specific date: September 7th! Tell me in the comments if you know what that date is...
> 
> No new chapter for three weeks, BTW, as next week I'll be participating in the Danganronpa Rarepair Week.


	14. Idabashi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An old friend, a new face, a second chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just BARELY made it, lads! Had a hell of a shift at work today but I promised this today and I keep my promises. And it's a nice long chapter too, to help make up for the hiatus. 
> 
> Special thanks to MoonMusicMuse/PhantomKiibo and WishfulFeline for their help!!

Shuichi isn’t expecting much for his birthday. A gift or two from his family, something from Maki and Himiko, maybe some cake. Even if he is turning 18, a huge party is out of the question. That would probably make it an even worse day for him.

( _ It’s ironic in a way _ , he thinks.  _ I probably never thought I would live to 18 before all of this, and yet I did. But everybody else thinks I didn’t.  _ It’s a thought he buries deep down, next to the butterflies that Keebo sparks.) 

He’s pleasantly surprised when he gets that and a bit more. All the girls, including Haruka and Kazue, threw him a small party of sorts. He’s not really sure how they pulled that off- without any work to maintain them, his detective skills must be deteriorating- but it’s nice to be shocked in a positive way for a change. There’s the expected cake and gifts, some better than others. 

His uncle and aunt gave him a crime novel and an invitation to visit for dinner. He’s fairly certain he’ll never crack the spine; he’s far too done with mysteries for this life. His parents sent a card with a check enclosed, just as they have for the past thirteen years (he thinks). From Himiko, Shuichi got a collection of tarot cards and the promise of learning how to read them. Maki gifted him a new mouse to use with Keebo’s laptop. Haruka got him a t-shirt with a pun on it. And Kazue…

“Well, I have two things for you,” she says, handing over a bag decorated with orange stripes. “One of them is pretty obvious, the other… I can explain.” 

Shuichi opens the bag to find a gift card sitting on top of something wrapped in tissue paper. The gift card is for the coffeeshop they meet at; he thanks her happily. His smile falls as he opens the other part. “A… hair kit?”

“Clips, ponytail holders, stuff like that,” she elaborates. “You liked it when I put your hair up last time, so now you don’t have to rely on me being around.” 

“Ah… thank you, Kazue,” he says quietly. “I appreciate it.” 

As he sets it aside, Keebo zooms in closer on his screen. “I apologize for not getting you anything, Shuichi, especially as you’ve done so much for me.” 

“It’s alright, Keebo,” he replies earnestly. He bites back the  _ “you being here is enough of a gift”  _ before it spills out. “I’ll make sure to get you something for your birthday, either way.” 

Kazue cocks her head and swallows her forkful of cake. “Do robots even have birthdays?”

“Hey! That’s robophobic! I’ll have you know that my birthday is October 29th!” 

Maki pulls her focus away from the lighter and looks at Keebo. “You weren’t born, though. Call me robophobic all you want, but you simply weren’t.” 

Keebo sighs, but nods. “That’s true, if offensive. I suppose it’d be more accurate to call that my activation date, as that was when I was first booted up. But Professor Idabashi always referred to it as my birthday, so I’m sticking with it!” 

Haruka spits out her soda, spraying Himiko’s face. “Ah, sorry Mimi, it’s just- did you say  _ Idabashi? _ ” 

Shuichi’s the one to reply. “Yeah. If I remember correctly, Idabashi is the name of your creator and your pseudo father, correct?”

“No. Fricking. Way. I don’t know why I didn’t put it together, I mean the timelines match up…” Haruka says, jumping from her chair and grabbing her phone. “I can’t believe this!” 

“Nyehhh, whatdya mean?” Himiko asks, wiping her face off with a streamer. 

“I mean-” Haruka thrusts her phone into Shuichi and Keebo’s faces- “he teaches robotics at the same university my mother works at!” 

There’s a cry of “you’re kidding!” and “no way!” from the girls, but both Shuichi and Keebo remain silent. Shuichi, mostly out of shock; Keebo, because he’s examining the image. “That’s… that’s him,” he says quietly. “That’s the man from my memories, that’s my creator!” 

Haruka starts typing as soon as she pulls the phone back. “Holy crap, OK, I’m texting my mom and I’ll see if we can arrange a meeting-” 

“Wait.” 

Everybody pauses and turns to him as Shuichi finally finds his voice. “I-I mean,” he starts, floundering under the sudden attention. “While it’s fantastic that we’ve confirmed Idabashi is a real individual, we don’t know for certain if he’s allied with Team Danganronpa or not. If he is, revealing that we have Keebo’s AI could be dangerous. N-not to mention that you being the one to set up the meeting,” he adds, looking at Haruka, “would mean that we’d have broken our promise to keep our survival a secret.” 

He sighs and lowers his cap instinctively. “I want to speak to him, I do. B-because there’s a chance we could help Keebo get his body back, but… we have to keep in mind the risks.” 

Himiko is the first to respond. “He has a good point…” 

“I somehow doubt he’s still working with Team Danganronpa. If he was, they’d be much less willing to give us Keebo in the first place,” Maki says. 

Kazue shrugs, twirling a lock of hair between her thumb and forefinger. “It’s up to Keebo, really. It’s his creator.” 

The attention shifts to the laptop. “Um, well, considering what Shuichi said and my own desires… I know that my friends would let nothing bad happen to me,” Keebo explains. “And I recognize the dangers involved. However… even if I can’t get a new body-” Shuichi notes the quick glance towards Kazue- “I’d like to speak with him again. So Haruka, if you don’t mind, please see about arranging that meeting.” 

An hour later, the date is set, and Shuichi wonders what’s causing the nausea this time. 

. . .

The campus is fairly compact, even for being in the city. It’s the most populated place Shuichi’s been at in months; he tugs his hat down as far as it can go. Maki grips his shoulder and they somehow find each other’s hands. In his backpack is Keebo, waiting. Haruka returns from the building they’re standing in front of. “K, he’s ready. Let’s go.” 

Everybody is silent as they pile into the elevator. Haruka leads them to an office at the end of the hall. It’s a bit messy, but spacious. The door reads “REO IDABASHI: HEAD OF ROBOTICS.” 

They enter. 

“Ah, Miss Miyamoto, I’ve been expecting you and your friends! Come in, come in!” A bespectacled man with salt-and-pepper hair pushes some papers off of the couch. “Take a seat! I was a bit surprised when your mother mentioned you wanted to speak with me, but- do I know you?” he asks, looking directly at Shuichi. 

“A-ah, well, not personally,” Shuichi says, taking a seat. “M-my name… my name is Shuichi Saihara.” 

There’s a second of blankness before realization spreads over Idabashi’s face. “You… you were Keebo’s friend. The one who ended… which must make you two Misses Harukawa and Yumeno, correct?” The girls nod. “How… how’d you survive?” he prods as he sinks into his desk chair. 

“Keebo spared us,” Maki explains bluntly, looking at the ceiling. Her fingers twitch for a cigarette. “That’s why we’re here, actually.” She and Shuichi take turns explaining the situation, how they found him, how Keebo’s with them in the bag at Shuichi’s feet. Himiko curls closer into Haruka. Kazue stands by the door, watching. 

Idabashi blinks several times as the story ends. “Keebo… you h-have him? Could I…?” 

He doesn’t need to finish. Shuichi pulls the laptop from the backpack and places it on the table in front of them. Carefully, he opens it. 

“...P-Professor? Is… is it really you?” 

They can barely make out Idabashi’s response between his tears. “Oh Keebo, I’m so sorry, I failed you as a creator and as a father, I should’ve never agreed to work with them-” 

“Dad, I can’t-can’t believe you’re real, I thought for sure Team Danganronpa had just made you up-” 

“As touching as this is,” Maki says, staring at Idabashi coldly, “you still gave Keebo to those monsters. Explain.” 

Shuichi shushes her, but Idabashi nods. “No, she’s right,” he says, wiping his cheek with the back of his hand. “You deserve to know- all of you do. It’s… it was a poor judgement on my part.” He sits back down. “Keebo, what… what do you remember?”

“Um, well, I’m going to assume you mean outside of the Killing Game… I woke up one day and you introduced yourself as my creator and father,” Keebo begins. “I had hurt you previously and reset myself upon experiencing human emotions for the first time, apparently. You told me all of this after the fact, of course. I had forgotten… everything, really, during the reset. Afterwards, I assisted you in the lab, and eventually you sent me to high school. There I got my title as the ‘Ultimate Robot…’” he sighs. “I’m guessing that last part was fiction, though.” 

Idabashi nods again. “Then they kept their word. I’m glad I wasn’t entirely forgotten… what amazes me more is the overall accuracy of that story.”

“Nyeh? All of that happened?”

“I did actually hurt you? Oh my God, I broke the first law of robotics! Why would you bring me back?” 

“...I’m going to need a beer after this.” Shuichi is more than a bit concerned at that comment.

“Everybody, quiet!” Haruka snaps, and the din ceases. “Let Idabashi explain. He’s the expert here.” 

The professor offers a warm smile to her. “Thank you, Miss Miyamoto. Where was I… right. Keebo, I don’t blame you. It’s alright, my boy.” He exhales through his nose. “That incident though… it’s what started this whole thing.”

“W-what do you mean?” Shuichi asks. 

“...I had always wanted a child, you know. Unfortunately, my wife…” he starts quietly, looking at a portrait on his desk. It’s of a woman in a yellow sundress, laughing at the ocean. “We tried, but… so I decided perhaps building a son would work just as well. We’d love him and raise him as if he was our flesh and blood. It eventually fell to me alone once…” The silence says enough. 

_ The blood dripping from his mouth, spilling out with each cough-  _

He sighs. “Using all of my research money and the knowledge I had amassed through my projects, I began working on what would one day become Keebo. Well, at first we referred to you as… I forget, to be honest,” Idabashi admits, scratching his ear. “This was before your AI was wiped. And the first version of you was a technical success. We had created a robot capable of experiencing human emotions, of being a surrogate son.” Another exhale, punctuated by tapping his armrest. “‘Capable’ being the operative word here, of course. You didn’t actually exhibit any emotional behaviors, aside from a few stock remarks on events around you.”

Keebo glances to the bottom of the computer screen. “And then I hurt you.” 

Idabashi nods once. “And your AI was wiped… but it didn’t reset.” 

“Huh? Wh-what do you mean?”

“Keebo, once you realized what you had done and felt remorse, your personality and memory were completely destroyed. Your body was a literal empty shell. And then the school cut my funding.” 

“Why would they do that?” Himiko asks, gripping Haruka’s hand. 

The professor shrugs. “I had promised them a robot that was so human in behavior, it’d be impossible to tell the difference. And while you should’ve shown such behavior, you didn’t. I failed to keep my promise, and so, the university did not extend my grant to rebuild and reinstall your AI.” 

Shuichi sucks in a breath through his teeth. “And that’s when Team Danganronpa showed up- to give you money.” 

“That, or they were drawn to the stereotypical backstory,” Kazue mutters from the corner of her mouth. Shuichi silences her with a glare. 

Idabashi ignores the exchange. “If I helped make some updates to their mascot, they’d pay me handsomely. More than enough to bring Keebo back. I signed in a heartbeat.”

“But that wouldn’t result in Keebo being part of the Killing Game,” Himiko points out. 

“It was probably in the fine print. If he never combed through the contract, he would’ve never seen it,” Maki says, voice curt. 

“To be fair, I looked it over after they had taken Keebo,” Idabashi explains, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “It stipulated that, one day, I may have to provide an AI for them to use as contestant. It could’ve been any AI, but I didn’t realize it until too late. I wish I had read it more thoroughly,” he laments. “I could’ve prevented all of this.” 

“That explains why Keebo resembles Makoto Naegi,” Shuichi says in realization. “They built him a new body and designed it after him intentionally. No wonder you were the camera- you were meant to be the protagonist, just like him!” 

Maki nods. “That also explains the name…” 

“Ah, that was me,” Idabashi admits. “I named you because bringing you back returned hope into my life.” 

“Kinda ironic, if you think about it,” Haruka says. “Like, Team Danganronpa exists to spread both hope and despair, yeah? And them giving you the money to rebuild Keebo gave you hope, but them taking him away caused despair. That’s irony, right?” She looks at the others and huffs. “I didn’t do well in literature classes, OK?”

Shuichi agrees, even if he doesn’t say anything. There’s a certain poetic nature of this entire situation. He’d laugh if it wasn’t for the seriousness of the situation. “It’s fine, Haruka,” he assures her. “Professor-” 

“Mr. Saihara, please. You saved my son; Reo is fine.” 

“R-right, Reo… what were you doing that would result in you being in danger, anyway?”

“Uh, well, it’s a bit embarrassing, to be frank,” Idabashi admits sheepishly. “I was hoping to encourage anger in Keebo by having a boxing match with him. I punched him- lightly, mind you- and he retaliated, as expected. But I hadn’t expected his strength to be of that of a professional… broke a few ribs.” 

“I-I did  _ that?”  _ Keebo cries, sprite wincing. 

“It’s alright, son, you didn’t know! Although,” he says, “this was the major factor that resulted in your strength being scaled back.” 

While Keebo mumbles apologies, Shuichi nods. “To that of an elderly man, if I remember correctly… b-but you might have worried about such a possibility. Didn’t you have a backup of his AI?”

The professor blinks, taken aback, and shakes his head. “Do  _ you  _ have a backup of your personality and memory, Mr. Saihara?”

“I-I-um-well-no, but- I mean-” 

“Keebo may be a robot, but he’s meant to be lifelike. That’s why the reset was such a major ordeal. I couldn’t recover his memories or anything. It would be as if you went through a complete personality change.” 

Haruka coughs, teeth gnashing. Himiko’s hands curl into fists as she shakes. Shuichi gulps for air that refuses to exist while his eyebrows furrow. Maki stays still, until she growls “do you want to die?”

“Maki, please! He didn’t mean it like that!” Keebo insists. “Dad, you know that they had to be-  _ I  _ went through the same thing. They weren’t trying to be robophobic at all!” 

“Y-you said so yourself,” Shuichi says quietly, tugging his hat down. “Earlier, you commented that Team Danganronpa ‘kept their word.’ W-what was that about?”

Idabashi sighs. “You’re right, I was insensitive. And…” He rubs the bridge of his nose again. “And I asked the men who took your AI to make sure you remembered me, Keebo. They obviously kept that promise far more than I anticipated." 

Keebo hums, computer fans whirring. “How’d you know they’d wipe my memory?”

It’s explained that they told Idabashi up front about the memory wipe, in order to make Keebo a suitable participant. “And you still went along with it,” Maki spits out. “Pathetic.” 

“Be nice,” Himiko scolds her. “He tried. And now he can rebuild Keebo’s body!” Shuichi is glad HImiko was able to restrain herself, as his throat is even tighter after Maki’s venom.

Keebo laughs, and Shuichi can breathe normally again. “It’ll be so nice to return to a proper body. While I’m incredibly grateful to all my friends for saving me, this form is very… restrictive.” He looks to the professor expectantly. “S-so? Would you be able to…?”

Idabashi offers a kind smile, picking up the laptop and setting it on his desk. “Of course. I’ve been working on a new robot for another project, but the AI… I couldn’t bring myself to program a new one.” He pats the lid of the computer awkwardly. “Now I don’t have to. As for this new body-” 

“Actually,” Kazue interrupts, “I might have something that could assist you with that.” She reaches into her backpack and pulls out a notebook covered in Pokemon stickers. “Keebo and I worked together to design a hypothetical new body for him. If you have the time, you might be able to adapt whatever you already have to more accurately match it.” 

Shuichi cocks his head as she hands over the paper. “W-when did you two make that?”

“Remember when Haruka brought Mario Kart over? We designed it while you were busy racing,” Keebo explains happily. 

_ “What was Kazue talking to you about while we were racing?” _

_ “Oh, she drew-”  _

“Hmm, yes, most of these changes are fairly superficial, I could certainly try,” Idabashi murmurs, looking over the notes. “I’ll need to find a few materials to make the hair but- what’s your name, miss?”

“Kazue. Kazue Akamatsu.” 

The full name hangs in the air for a second as Idabashi studies her. “Then your sister was… I’m… sorry for your loss.”

Shuichi can’t help but wince on her behalf. “Yeah… thanks.” 

“Regardless, these show tremendous potential and- Miss Akamatsu, since you created this design, why don’t you assist me in building it?”

Kazue’s happy squeal and the discussion between the two is lost as Shuichi’s eyes meet Keebo’s screen. The backlight of his smile is a supernova. “I’m… thank you, Shuichi. Thank you,” Keebo mouths. Shuichi just nods, heart tangled on his tongue. His eyes slide shut. Tears burn hot on his cheeks, but there’s a grin etched into his face and soul.

_ It’s happening.  _

_ Keebo is getting his body back.  _

  
  


_...what do I do then? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two weeks from Wednesday (hopefully): discussions, confrontations...
> 
> Confessions.
> 
> (actually what if I pushed it back two days so it uploads on Sept. 7th, Shuichi's birthday? Yeah, I think what happens in that chapter would be a good bday present...)


	15. Warm Unalone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I feel life for the very first time_  
>  _Love in my arms and the sun in my eyes_  
>  _I feel safe in the 5 AM light_  
>  _You carry my fears as the heavens set fire_  
>  -Oh Wonder, "Technicolor Beat"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. The penultimate chapter. I'm sure I'm going to do a full thank you and rambling thing in the notes of the finale, but I want to reiterate just how much you all mean to me. 
> 
> And with that said, happy birthday Shuichi. You've earned this.
> 
> TW FOR MENTIONS OF A PANIC ATTACK.

Something buzzed through the air since meeting with Idabashi. Shuichi couldn’t exactly put a name on it, though. Excitement? Fear? A mix of both? Whatever it was, it coiled in the atmosphere and his stomach. It only grew as Kazue repeatedly canceled their coffee meetings, ruining whatever chances he had to talk with her one-on-one. 

Keebo was far more enthusiastic about the whole ordeal, naturally. He kept talking about what he would do with his new body, learn to drive and dance and sing. The screen would light up whenever asked about what new features he was getting. It was endearing and… very cute, Shuichi admits.  _ Very, very cute.  _

Both Himiko and Haruka were fully on board, and Kazue was as well. But what struck Shuichi as odd was Maki’s almost… indifference to the situation. No, not indifference. She seemed bitter. But much like Kazue, she successfully dodged each attempt at questioning. 

And it was no more apparent than when Kazue called that morning. 

“Shuichi? Is Keebo there?” 

“Ah, yeah, and everybody else, too,” he says, putting his phone on speaker. 

“Perfect,” Kazue replies, and there’s the sound of metal and sparks in the background. “Got some fantastic news for you all- the professor and I have a completion date for the body!” 

“You do?” Himiko asks, setting her toast down. “When? When? When?” Haruka giggles and pats her girlfriend’s head as the smaller of the two bounces in her chair. 

Shuichi tugs at his shirt hem. Keebo will have a body before long- not his same one, but  _ a  _ body. Not that Shuichi knows what it looks like; both Keebo and Kazue seem adamant on keeping it a secret from him, for whatever reason. 

“You’re gonna love this- October 29th.” 

“That’s my birthday!” Keebo exclaims, sprite switching to that of bliss. “I-it’s almost symbolic, in a way, me returning to a physical form on the same day I was activated…” 

“That’s why we chose it,” a new voice adds. It’s Idabashi, and the chorus of welcomes is swift. “Although… there are a few complications you all should know about,” he continues. 

“Complications,” Maki says dully, not looking up from her cereal. 

There’s the crackling static of silence and then… “Keebo might not survive the process, as it were.” 

“ _ WHAT?”  _

It’s a collective response from nearly everybody in the room. Only one voice is absent. 

“I-I might  _ die?  _ D-Dad, what-what do you mean?”

There’s a pair of sighs from the phone. “Um, I’m not an expert on it, that’s the professor’s job but… whenever you transfer files between computers, there’s a chance it could get corrupted. The USB is removed too early, some data was misread, stuff like that,” Kazue explains. “Most of the time it goes off without a hitch, though. But the bigger the file, the more likely it becomes, cuz of the amount of data. So if you transferred all the files from one computer to the next, there’s a higher chance something will get messed up.” 

“As one would imagine, a fully-functioning AI involves quite a bit of data, meaning the risk is all the higher,” Idabashi cuts in. “Furthermore, going from the more striped-down version of Keebo seen in the laptop versus a complete robot body… the transition could be quite jarring.” Shuichi can almost hear him stroke his stubbly chin. “You might not even have all the skills necessary anymore, my boy. Walking and the like.” There’s a pause before he adds “of course, you’ve gone through this process at least once now, twice potentially… it does lower the risk since we know it’s possible, but it does remain a factor.” 

Keebo is still, fans but a distant purr. “...how high is the risk?”

“Like, five percent, tops,” Kazue quickly answers. “And I’m rounding up and accounting for partial corruption, not entire AI deletion. Losing Keebo entirely and not just a few fragments of him, that’s like… .0003 repeating.” 

“Closer to .0004, actually. It’s a negligible difference, don’t feel too bad.” He can’t be quite sure, but he thinks Idabashi is comforting Kazue for her mistake… not that it matters. 

But Maki seems unsatisfied. “So even if it’s a miniscule chance, it’s still possible he’ll be completely destroyed. And even if he isn’t, he might not be the Keebo we know.”

“So, again, it’s up to Keebo if we go through with this,” Haruka says thoughtfully. “It’s his body, after all.” 

The laptop is silent. Maki bites at her thumb and Himiko is tugging on Haruka’s sleeve. Shuichi feels bile rise up his throat and sit on his tongue. He can’t bear to look at Keebo, at his friends, at anything, so he buries his face in his hands. 

_ Was everything… all for nothing? _

It’s agonizing, but eventually there’s a quiet “OK. Thank you for letting me know, Kazue. But…” As even as the voice is, there’s still a quiver in it Shuichi can barely detect. “But I don’t want anybody’s hard work, yours or otherwise, to go to waste. And… And I was OK with a potential change in the past. Right, Shuichi?”

He pulls his hands away with a gulp. “Wh-what? I- do you mean…” Shuichi racks his memory, because it sounds familiar- “you mean when you said you wanted your backstory adjusted?” 

“Yes, exactly,” Keebo answers happily. “I never got the chance to tell you due to… the circumstances of our situation, but I was worried that the modifications would completely reset my personality. And that afterwards… you wouldn’t want to be my friend.” 

Shuichi decides to ignore the strange sickness “friend” gives him and shakes his head. “I would never- Keebo, I was still your friend even when you lost your antenna and tried to destroy the school! You were willing to  _ kill  _ us and I never stopped trusting you!” he practically yells. 

“Yeah! You’re Keebo, no matter what!” Himiko adds, pointing at the computer. Maki simply nods, lips upturned just a hair. 

“Th-thank you…” Keebo whispers. There’s a beat and then he continues. “So I have no fear if I’m changed. I want to go through with the process no matter what, Kazue, Dad.”

“Excellent! Then we’ll see you all on the 29th!” Idabashi exclaims jovially. Keebo laughs, a little nervously. 

“Before I hang up, Shuichi, we still on for next Friday?”

“A-ah, uh, isn’t that the day before the procedure?” Shuichi stammers, ignoring Maki’s eye roll. 

“Yes, but Miss Akamatsu has done a great deal to assist me. What’s left is mostly fine tuning that she lacks the experience to complete. No offense, my girl,” he adds hastily. 

Shuichi rubs the back of his neck instinctively. “Well, if you’re free… yeah, it’ll be nice to catch up.” 

“Great! I’ll see you then, and everybody else on Saturday!” With that, the line goes dead, and the room is quiet. 

Himiko is the first to recover. “Nyeh, I’m gonna go shower. I’ll be back in a few.” She pushes her toast aside and stands. “Y’know we’ll keep you safe, yeah, Keebo?” 

“Of course, Himiko. I expect nothing less from a mage of your caliber.” If Keebo notices the frown on the girl’s lips, he doesn’t comment. It’s not long before Maki disappears as well, citing an urge for a cigarette. Keebo then asks to be plugged in and left alone for a brief while with his thoughts. Shuichi is hesitant to leave him, but… he respects the wish anyway. He’d do whatever Keebo asks of him. 

_ Why? Why am I so weak around him, compared to everybody else? I know I’m not strong, I know my shortcomings, but for him… _

_ You already know why,  _ the little voice in his head supplies. It sounds like an amalgamation of the three who haunt him.

“I should probably go wait for Himiko in her room,” Haruka says, grabbing her drink. Instinctively, Shuichi reaches out and grabs her wrist. “Huh?"

He gulps. “I, well, I haven’t really had many chances to talk with you, Haruka. If-if you don’t mind.” She sits back down, shaking her head. “First of all, I want to thank you. Himiko… I was never really close to her during the Killing Game. And ever since she met you… she’s been a lot happier.”

The girl smiles, twirling a sidelock around her finger. “She’s a sweet girl, but I should be thanking her… she’s reminded me that it’s OK to dwell on the past, at least a little.” She looks into her cup sadly. “When I got out of my game, I just… pushed myself. Figured if I was too busy or tired, I wouldn’t think about what I went through. What I once was. Himiko showed me that you can still miss your friends, regret your actions,  _ and  _ work on moving on.” Shuichi isn’t sure, but he think he sees the pinprick of a tear. “I owe her a lot for that.” 

“She was in the same boat, to be honest,” Shuichi admits. “Tried kickboxing for a while in hopes of working through her feelings. It… didn’t go over very well,” he adds, glancing over at the wall. There’s still a speck of blood on it. “And like I said, she’s been happier.” 

Haruka sighs, leaning back in her chair. “I just worry I’m too much like that other girl she was close to during your season… Taako, was it?”

“Tenko…” He rubs his chin in thought. “I didn’t know her particularly well, given her own… opinions, but I do see the similarities.” He grabs her shoulder as she slumps. “But I also see somebody more open-minded and forgiving than Tenko, at least from my perspective. You’re your own person, Haruka. So is Himiko. We all are.” 

Her eyes dance up to the ceiling. “We’re not the characters they wrote us to be, not anymore, is what you’re saying.” 

Shuichi nods, even though he doesn’t entirely agree.

. . .

Returning to the coffeeshop is strange, but what might be stranger is Shuichi ordering coffee. The last thing he needs is the caffeine; he’s already on edge over what tomorrow is. But the latte is in front of him, whether he wants it or not. 

Also in front of him? Kazue Akamatsu. 

“It’s so fascinating, Shuichi,” she gushes, swallowing another bite of pastry. “There’s so much more to robotics than I realized! And Idabashi is a great teacher, he’s super patient and thinks I have a lot of natural skill.” 

He smiles weakly. “That’s great, Kazue.” 

“Heh, you might as well start calling me the Ultimate Robotics Engineer!” 

And that’s the trigger. All of the pent-up frustrations and fears and theories come crashing from Shuichi’s brain to his tongue. “When were you going to tell me?” He’s shaking, straining to maintain eye contact, but his voice doesn’t crack. 

Kazue pauses, hand still in the middle of some strange gesture. “Tell you what?”

_ You can do it, Shuichi. It’s OK to face the truth, even now.  _ “That you were a fan of Danganronpa, just like your sister.” 

There’s nothing but silence for the next two minutes. Shuichi knows because he counts each second. Even the normal din of the other customers fades into white noise. Kazue’s face contorts and shifts, moving through confusion to fear to sadness before settling with a mix of acceptance and regret. A croaking laugh bubbles out of her. “Fuck, I was hoping you wouldn’t figure it out.” 

“I knew from our very first coffee meeting,” he confesses, tugging his hat down. 

“Wait, wait, you knew from- that was just a  _ few days  _ after we met! You knew that long? How? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because…” Shuichi’s words finally shatter. “Because I was afraid. Afraid of being used again. Afraid of being revealed to the world. Afraid of losing my first friend who  _ hadn’t  _ gone what I had!” The geyser erupts and it’s all he can do to prevent tears and screams. “A-and I didn’t  _ have  _ to face the truth this time. I could just go on, faking my ignorance! I wouldn’t  _ d-die  _ if I didn’t reveal the truth!! You know how hard it was for me to convict them all? Kirumi, Korekiyo,  _ Gonta, Kaito, K-Kaede-”  _

He’s not sure what happens in the next hour, minute, day, second. All Shuichi hears are his hiccups and Kazue’s whispers. When his eyes finally focus on reality again, they’re outside the coffeeshop, close to the dumpster. Kazue must’ve lead him away as soon as he started panicking. “You coming back to us?” a quiet voice asks. 

He nods. He doesn’t trust words. 

“I’m sorry,” Kazue starts, pulling on her coat collar. Shuichi duly notes his own slung across his shoulders. “I… I really should’ve been more up-front about it. But in my defense, I only watched two seasons, I wasn’t as bad as Ka- some people.” 

“You used me,” he croaks, trembling. 

Kazue kneels and wraps him in an embrace. He wants to struggle, but he’s too  _ tired.  _ “T-that was never my intention,” she says quietly. “I genuinely wanted to be your friend and thought you needed somebody. I saw what you went through a-and even though I can’t replace her… you being a character on a show I watched was never the point. And I’m so, so sorry that you thought it was.” 

Shuichi shakes his head, one arm snaking around her neck. “I knew because you talked about things y-you shouldn’t have known unless you watched… I-I figured you o-only skipped the parts when K-K-Kaede was alive,” he explains. Miraculously, tears don’t burst free. Maybe he is growing stronger. 

“Basically,” Kazue confesses, hugging him tighter. “I’m sorry, Shuichi. I know- I’d completely understand if you don’t trust me anymore.” 

He doesn’t answer at first. Instead, he thinks, breathing slow and heavy. “I… I think that if you really were using me, you wouldn’t have volunteered to help rebuild Keebo. And I can’t tell for certain if that was an act out of guilt or s-something else, but… Idabashi trusts you.  _ Keebo  _ trusts you.” Shuichi exhales through his nose. “That’s enough for now, at least.” 

Kazue pulls away, cupping his cheek, orange fingernails tapping his skin. “Keebo… you’re not entirely off. Maybe there’s some guilt in there, but not for lying. It’s guilt because I’m part of the reason you can’t move on and embrace the truth.” 

She doesn’t elaborate, but she doesn’t need to. Shuichi knows exactly what she means. The smiles, the fears, the bubbles in his throat whenever he even  _ thinks  _ of Keebo. He’s shoved it away for far too long, even when he knew the name for it, ironically, the same day he realized the truth about Kazue.  _ I would think your feelings for Keebo run much deeper.  _

“I’m scared. What if- what if he forgets, what if he doesn’t feel the same way, what if-” 

Kazue shrugs. “You had the strength to face the truth about me. Now do the same for you.” There’s a few seconds of silence before she grimaces. “Ugh, that was cheesy as hell. Look, he isn’t gonna forget. He feels the same. Don’t dwell on the ‘what if,’ Shuichi.” She claps his shoulder, beaming. 

_ The impossible is possible, all you gotta do is make it so! _

_ So please… continue to walk down the path that you believe in.  _

_ I believe in you guys! So please… believe in yourself! _

“A-alright,” he whispers, biting at his lower lip. “I’ll do it. I’ll confess to Keebo.”

. . .

It takes until just hours before they’re due at Idabashi’s lab. He was unable to sleep, tossing back and forth and throwing his hat against the wall. He’s been pacing for at least three hours at this point. Kazue’s words keep echoing, echoing, just like they have for ages. His fingers find the edge of the computer, and with a gulp, it opens. 

“Shuichi, what are you doing up? It’s five in the morning! Please, get some rest, today is a big day!” 

"Keebo, there's something I need to tell you before... before you get your body back," Shuichi says gingerly, placing the laptop in the center of his room.   
  
Keebo cocks his head. "What's that?"   
  
He digs his hands into the rug, clawing through the fabric and back to his own flesh. He wouldn't be surprised if he managed to break skin. "The chance that you could- could be reset may not be great, but I need to let you know even if y-you forget-"    
  
"Shuichi, I'm not going to forget you. Any of you. And even if I do, I'll still be Keebo. We established this during the Killing Game. So please, tell me whatever it is that's bothering you," Keebo says, lips upturning. It sets Shuichi's heart at ease but he's still on edge.    
  
He exhales and shuts his eyes. "I was talking with Kazue, and she helped me realize that I... I like you, Keebo."

As soon as the words leave his mouth, he has to fight the urge to gasp. Saying it for the first time, out loud,  _ admitting it to Keebo... _ it feels real and tangible. He likes Keebo. Shuichi Saihara likes K1-B0. And admitting it is exhilarating. Terrifying, too, but Shuichi imagines that would be par for the course. Bearing your heart to someone like this was dangerous, almost as dangerous as the Killing Game.    
  
Keebo blinks and grins. "Well, I like you too, Shuichi! I'm surprised you didn't like me before, seeing as you did recover me from Tea-"   
  
"No, Keebo," Shuichi interrupts. Damn it, why did he take off his hat? "I mean that I have... I have feelings for you." The words keep spilling out, the dam of his mind finally cracked and gushing wherever it can. "I think I always have, or at least I had them during the Killing Game, I mean I saved you and you have helped me  _ so much! _ You helped me stop burning myself as frequently, you made me feel  _ real, _ and once you have your body back I want to hold your hand and hug you and- and ki-..." The words trail off. He can't finish that thought.    
  
Shuichi glances over at Keebo. The sprite is blood red and gnawing at his lower lip, eyes quivering. "Oh, Shuichi..."   


"It's... it's fine, I just needed to tell you," he says quickly. "If you don't feel the same-"    
  
"No, Shuichi, you don't understand!" Keebo yells, tears in his pixelated eyes. "I think... I might already be in love with you."    
  
"Huh? What?"   
  
"I think my feelings for you are increasing at an exponential rate! Of course, they've been there for a while, but- please! Say more kind things to me!" Keebo's voice is frantic, scared, excited. " _ I don't want this feeling to go away! _ "    
  
_ Keebo loves him back. Keebo loves him- He loves Keebo. God. _   
  
"I don't want this feeling to go away either. Because... because I love you. I really, really do," Shuichi answers, scooping the computer into his lap. "I love you, Keebo."    
  
Keebo laughs and it's breathtaking. "I love you too, Shuichi."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna include links to all the lovely fanart I've gotten but instead I'm going to leave you with what Kazue was originally going to tell Shuichi to get him to confess. 
> 
> "Stop being a limp penis and tell him you love him." 
> 
>  
> 
> ...the last chapter will be up by the end of the month.


	16. Ultimate Revival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A beginning.

Shuichi wakes with a crick in his neck and a nearly-dead computer in his lap. He pushes himself off the rug to answer the door. “M-Maki?” he stammers, rubbing his eye wearily. 

“We meet with Idabashi in ninety minutes. I suggest getting something to eat and a shower.” She looks at Keebo and shrugs. “And plugging Keebo in.” And with that, she’s gone. 

_ Keebo…? _

With a jolt, he dives back to the floor and fumbles with the power cord. “K-Keebo? Are you OK?” 

The screen blinks back to life and Shuichi holds back a sigh of relief. “I’m fine!” he says, chipper as can be. “I’m more worried about you, Shuichi; after we… t-talked last night, you passed out…” 

Memories, thoughts he had been convinced were dreams until this second, rush back to him.  _ I confessed to Keebo last night, and he said he loved me back. R-right. This is a thing, now.  _ “I’m alright, thank you,” he says sincerely, even though he can tell he looks a mess. Glancing down, his pajamas are a crumpled mess from sleeping on the floor. “Are you… are you excited for today?” 

Keebo prattles on about his remaining nerves but overall enthusiasm, and Shuichi doesn’t even bother hiding the smile from his face. He can be open about it, if he wants. And he does. “Ah, I’m keeping you from getting dressed…” 

“No, it’s alright,” he assures, even though his body is aching for a shower. “I feel bad for wearing your battery down like that last night, though.” 

“I went into sleep mode shortly after you,” Keebo explains. “Although… it was a pleasant sight, seeing you at peace like that.” The sprite glows red. “I-I haven’t seen you so relaxed since I arrived.” 

Shuichi rubs the back of his neck, flushing. “Truth be told, I haven’t… I haven’t been this happy since then.” 

He’s fairly certain they’re both beet red from that moment onwards, until they arrived at Idabashi’s lab. 

. . .

Shuichi is grateful that Haruka drives, but he’s a bit more concerned about the glances Maki keeps throwing at him. They’re not malicious, just… confused. Hurt. 

He’s not sure he wants to ask an almost assassin why they’re looking hurt. 

Haruka parks and kicks her door open, shouting “we’re here, this is it!” Himiko climbs out of the passenger seat. Kazue is waiting for them outside the building, beaming. “You didn’t have to come down and greet us, Kaz.” 

Kazue shrugs. “Wanted to talk to Shuichi really quick before everything… go ahead, we’ll catch up,” she assures them. Himiko and Haruka take off hand-in-hand without a second thought, but it takes a second for Maki to start moving again. “So. Did you tell him?”

He sucks in a breath through his nose and nods. Words are a jumbled mess on his tongue and brain. 

“And?”

“He loves me,” Shuichi spits out. “He- I’m sorry I didn’t trust you, Kazue,” he says urgently, grabbing her shoulder. “I-I should’ve- maybe we would’ve had more time-” 

“Hey,” she says softly, pulling his hand away. “You’re acting like this is his execution. It’s not. It’s his resurrection. You have all the time in the world.” Her nose wrinkles and she mutters something about her own corniness sickening her, but he’s tuned her out.

Even when he wants to believe her, knows he can, he’s still the broken boy who wasted his life on a false persona. The boy who ran from the truth in both of his lives. The boy who still lives in fear. Shuichi takes both of her shoulders in his hands. “Kazue. Make sure he comes back to me. I-I can’t lose him again. I can’ lose  _ anybody  _ again.” 

Kazue doesn’t smile, or say anything at all. She doesn’t wrap him into a hug or tell him to get a grip. She just nods, face unreadable. 

His stomach curdles while his pulse returns to normal, and he’s not sure what it means. 

. . .

Idabashi greets them with warm smiles and pats on the backs. Maki looks prepared to throw him into his computers, while Himiko preens under the attention. Shuichi can’t place how he feels, aside from nervous. “Do you mind letting me speak to Keebo before we begin the procedure?”

It all sounds so clinical and cold, even if Idabashi is nothing but cheerful. Still, Shuichi complies, pulling the laptop out of his backpack and opening it. “Hello Professor!” 

“There you are, happy birthday, my son!” 

Shuichi swears under his breath. Amid all the bustle of preparing for today- and his own preoccupation with the night prior- he completely forgot why today was chosen. “I’m sorry, Keebo, I forgot to tell you…” 

“It’s alright, Shuichi!” Keebo says. “Between this a-and earlier this morning… I couldn’t have asked for a better birthday.” 

“What do you mean, ‘earlier this morning?’” Maki asks, crossing her arms. Kazue just smirks and tries to hold back a snicker. 

Both boys flush, and that’s enough for Maki to turn away. Himiko, Haruka, and Idabashi all remain curious. “It’s nothing, really,” Shuichi explains. “We just talked and sorted through a few things.” Haruka nods, smile growing smug. 

Idabashi claps his hands together. “I’m glad you did, although you will both have plenty of time to continue said discussion after Keebo gets his body back. Miss Akamatsu, if you could ready my computer?” Kazue salutes and disappears in the back room. Shuichi tries to watch her, but Idabashi blocks the view. “Ah-ha-ha, both Keebo and Miss Akamatsu have asked that the new body remain a secret until its grand debut, a request I am more than happy to comply with. Now, the laptop, if you please?” 

With shaking hands, Shuichi turns the computer around so he’s facing the screen. “I’ll be right here when you get back, I promise,” he whispers. 

Keebo smiles, and his heart rate quickens. “I know. It’ll only be a short while. And I’ll be just fine, both Kazue and Dad will see to it. I’ll remember this. All of this.” 

He wants to say “I know you will.” Or “I trust them to return you to me.” Or even just “I love you.” Instead, he kisses the outer edge of the screen, the glass cold against his lips. “I’ll see you on the other side.” 

Idabashi closes the laptop and the door, and silence overtakes them. 

. . .

The remaining girls, sans Maki, tease him a little for his behavior, but he blocks most of it out. He’s aware that his actions incriminated him; he doesn’t care if they know he’s in love. 

Wait, would Keebo be alright with their relationship in the open like this? What if he wanted it to be kept a secret? They hadn’t even discussed what the nature of their relationship was- were they dating? Shuichi’s not sure about his previous self, but he has no experience with any sort of partner (beyond those strange dreams of the love hotel). Did he screw everything up already? Was- 

“Hey, Shuichi, take a deep breath,” Himiko says, tugging on his sleeve at the elbow. “You’re panicking.” 

He blinks and finds the redhead’s worried face near his. He jerks back and goes to lower his hat. “Ah… sorry. Got lost in thought…” 

“It’s alright,” she tells him, sitting next to him. The bench outside Idabashi’s workshop isn’t particularly comfortable, but it’s acceptable. “What you did was really brave. I dunno if I could’ve sent somebody to their potential… non-existence like that.” She clicks her heels together and whimpers. “At least, not knowingly…” 

_ Tenko,  _ Shuichi thinks, because of course it’s her. Even with Haruka in her life, Himiko still carries the guilt and remorse of having the aikido master die in her place. It’s a mutual feeling, even if he wishes Himiko wouldn’t make light of it. “It wasn’t your fault, Himiko. None of us knew what Korekiyo was planning…” He taps his knee restlessly. “And in a sad way, I suppose I have experience with sending those I lo-care about to…” He doesn’t finish. Himiko understands.

They sit together silently for a while, both lost in their own thoughts. Haruka had left for a jog a while back, while Maki was off… Shuichi wasn’t sure, exactly. Eventually, though, Himiko speaks. “Is it OK that I… I still miss Tenko? And Angie?”

He looks at her curiously. “Of course it is. They were your friends, Himiko, mourning them is natural, even after a long time.” 

“Yeah, but, like… I loved Tenko,” she admits, pulling her legs onto the bench and knees to her chest. “And I love Haruka. Can you do both?” 

He mulls it over, even when he’s already fairly certain of the answer. “I… I’m pretty sure I was in love with Kaede, or at least the idea of her. I loved Kaito, too, in a way. But you saw what I did with Keebo. I miss them both dearly and-and I wish, I wish I could-” He shakes his head, blinking back the storm of tears. “You can do both.” 

Himiko looks away, tracing a shape on the wood. “It’s different, though. Keebo was part of our fake selves. Haruka isn’t.” 

Shuichi grabs her far shoulder and pulls her into an awkward hug. She sobs, and he struggles to keep his own composure. Once Haruka returns and hurries Himiko away for comforting, he allows himself to feel the pain. 

It still makes him feel real, though, and he cries all the harder.

. . .

There are better places for a nap than on a wooden bench, but when you’re tired and emotional, you don’t really care. At least, Shuichi doesn’t. Which is why he’s more than a little confused when Maki wakes him for the second time that day. “Oh… sorry. Where’d you go earlier?”

“I needed to smoke,” she says simply, sitting next to him. 

He frowns. “I thought we bought you some nicotine patches.” 

She shrugs, not looking at him. “I’ll get around to using them, maybe.” Maki is focused on the wall, unblinking. As soon as her thumb touches her lips, Shuichi knows. 

“Maki. Something’s bothering you, and it has been for a while. I’ve… I’ve been too afraid to ask you about it, though,” he confesses, staring ahead as well. “But if we want to survive outside of the Killing Game, we have to trust one another. Please, tell me what’s going on.”  _ What a hypocrite,  _ he thinks.  _ Being unable to trust Kazue but lecturing Maki. What kind of detective are you? _

_ Oh wait, you’re not. You’re nothing.  _

It’s silent. Quiet. Noiseless. Maki gnaws at her lower lip, eyes cast downward, and she exhales. Inhales, exhales. In, out. And- “I’m jealous.” 

He had a feeling, but it’s still a punch to the stomach to hear it from the source. “Jealous of… what, exactly?”

“That you were able to move on so quickly, both you and Himiko- you know why I started smoking?” Her voice is gravel, her eyes as steel as her once-loved knife. “Because drinking made me think of him, made me miss him and regret never telling him I loved him, and first Himiko brings Haruka into all of this and- and you flat-out  _ revived the dead, Shuichi.  _ You did what I could  _ never  _ do! The only person I’ve ever loved is  _ dead  _ and you just forget about him,” she spits out. 

“Wha- where the  _ fuck, _ ” he counters, “did you get the idea that I don’t miss Kaito either? I loved him just as much as you,  _ Maki,  _ not a damn day goes by where I can’t think of how I failed him and Kaede! I haven’t moved on at all!” 

“But you love Keebo!” 

_ “You can love somebody and still miss somebody else!”  _

He hadn’t mean to scream, but it comes out as a yell regardless. Maki is looking at him strangely. He’s panting, shaking, but- 

She laughs. A genuine, happy laugh, and it’s so completely out of place that Shuichi freezes. “God, look at us,” Maki says, clutching her stomach. “Arguing over a boy like two high schoolers, it’s pathetic.” 

The tension melts like butter on a pancake, and Shuichi chuckles as well. He’s no longer Atlas with the world on his shoulders, or at least, the weight is lighter now. He’s also glad it’s Saturday, so nobody beyond their friends and the professor would see or hear them being complete fools. “I mean, we could both be in high school right now, if we really wanted.” 

“Yeah, you’ve got a point…” She smiles weakly. “Maybe I’m less jealous of you moving on and more just… being able to show your emotions. I… I’m still working on that.” 

Shuichi lays a hand on hers. It’s warm. “We can work on it together,” he reassures her. “That outburst was a good start, to be honest. Maybe instead of working on moving on from Kaito… what if you tried letting go of your backstory?” 

She hums in thought. “I was thinking about that. Going to all the places I supposedly did as an assassin.” 

“Oh? What kinds of places?”

“Russia, China, the United States, South Korea, Italy…” 

_ Wait, all of those are related somehow…  _ “Maki, aren’t all of those countries with space programs?” Shuichi asks quietly. 

It takes a moment, but she nods. “Fine, you got me. I was thinking I could see just what that idiot found so inspiring about space,” she admits. “Would you be interested in coming?”

The offer throws him off, but he nods after a millisecond. “I think I’d like that, yeah. And I’m- I’m sorry for snapping at you like that.” 

“It’s OK, I kind of deserved it.” She sighs, scratching behind her ear. “I just have two questions for you, Shuichi.” The first is if he’s happy with Keebo, the answer to which was “we just confessed, I’m not even sure if we’re dating, but… yeah, I am.” The second’s familiar, said with a light, teasing tone that meshes horribly with the actual words. “Do you want to die?”

It’s sincere. Concern expressed between friends. And Shuichi smiles earnestly when he answers “not today.” 

. . .

He’s beginning to doze off again, a couple hours later, when he hears shuffling from the other room. Maki nudges him and he looks up. “Is it-” he starts, but he’s cut off by another voice. 

“Easy there, you’re going to be a bit stiff for a few days.” It’s Professor Idabashi, and the words are followed by footsteps. Shuichi stands, knees feeling weak and heavy at the same time. His stomach rolls and flips and performs an entire dance routine.

Kazue opens the door. Her eyes look weary, but her smile is blinding. “Oh good, you’re all here. There’s somebody who wants to see you guys,” she says with a laugh. Legs appear behind her, then a torso, and finally, a face.

It’s not exactly the same as his old one, or even the digital version from the laptop. The most obvious change was the bulky armor being replaced with a casual hoodie and shorts. His hair was a bit shorter; fluffier, too (although his trademark antenna is still there, albeit much smaller). Closer to blond than pure white, but still remarkably pale. The lines beneath his eyes had vanished as well, and Shuichi could see humanlike ears peeking out from under the hair. If he didn’t know any better, he might’ve thought it was a completely different robot. But the smile and light in his gray-blue eyes prove otherwise. 

Shaking, he takes a step forward. The girls stay back and he hears them tittering behind him, but he blocks it out. “K-Keebo?” he asks, voice cracking. “Do… do you remember me?” 

Keebo beams, brighter than a supernova, and laughs quietly. Shuichi’s heart twists. “How could I forget the boy I love?” he whispers in that beautiful, familiar voice. 

He launches himself into Keebo’s waiting arms, sobbing and squeezing him and letting his fear finally die. “You’re back, you’re back, oh God Keebo it’s really you,” he repeats, like it’s a prayer, as Keebo hugs him back and giggles. “It’s you, oh my God, I’m actually holding you-” 

Himiko joins the hug next, followed by Kazue, and Haruka drags Maki in as they all huddle around the robot. But Shuichi’s in the middle, holding him, crying into his hair.  _ Keebo, Keebo, Keebo,  _ it’s all he can think, and it’s all that matters. 

Shuichi presses a gentle kiss onto Keebo’s forehead. “I love you, Keebo,” he tells him, and it’s the most truthful statement he’s said in so long. 

“Welcome back.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is it. The final chapter of Reboot and Try Again. It's hard to believe I've been working on this story for about a year now but... it's been such a journey. I've learned a lot about writing and myself in this time. Publishing this is really emotional for me.
> 
> But what makes me even more emotional is the response I've gotten. I never thought I'd end up being one of the top kudos'd saiibo fics, but here we are. And this isn't even getting into all the wonderful people I've met and fanart I've gotten! For the record, there's:  
> -clayfangirl, who drew [three](https://n00dl3gal.tumblr.com/post/172861406847/so-the-amazingly-talented-clayfangirl-drew) [amazing](https://n00dl3gal.tumblr.com/post/172928224732/more-amazing-fanart-of-reboot-and-try-again-by) [pieces](https://clayfangirl.deviantart.com/art/reboot-and-try-again-hurt-740871798) and was a joy to talk to;  
> -Doktor, because watching you play DR for the first time was a much needed break and you GOT ME DEREK STEPHEN PRINCE'S AUTOGRAPH HOLY FUCK;  
> -wishfulfeline, whose depiction of [Haruka](https://www.instagram.com/p/Bhz9hlhh-nm/?taken-by=wishfuldraws) was spot on and is one of the sweetest people I've ever met;  
> -avadonias, for being a superb proofreader and source of motivation;  
> -Mod Kiibo of danganedits for this adorable [sprite edit](https://n00dl3gal.tumblr.com/post/174354111407/ultimate-aesthetics-so-an-anon-asked-me-to-make) of Kazue;  
> -PhantomKiibo, for being a great beta reader and dear, dear friend;  
> -trophiss on twitter, who drew Haruka to be my new [icon](https://twitter.com/n00dl3gal);  
> -MustardPig, for getting me into Danganronpa in the first place;  
> -robo-ahoge, who I commissioned for some lovely [Kazue](https://n00dl3gal.tumblr.com/post/174190685882/robo-ahoge-commission-for-n00dl3gal) art from;  
> -the entire saiibo cult discord for being amazing;  
> -sans.fuyuhiko, who drew an [adorable](https://www.instagram.com/p/Bnkyj93hRB1/?saved-by=the_real_noodlegal) piece and Shuichi's hair is everything,  
> -demizoura, who HAS ALREADY DRAWN THE [FINAL SCENE](https://n00dl3gal.tumblr.com/post/178552013082/demizoruart-how-could-i-forget-the-boy-i) OF THE FIC, WHAT THE HECKIE  
> -and you. Whether you've been reading from the beginning or are new, whether you've commented or not... thank you. Thank you so, so much.
> 
> So what's next? A break, for a while at least. I need time to rest, work on my novella... and prepare for the next installment.
> 
> What, you really thought I'd leave this universe alone?
> 
> SO IT GOES, READJUSTING TO MY BONES: A CONTINUATION OF THE ULTIMATE REVIVAL UNIVERSE
> 
> COMING OCTOBER 29TH

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to discuss this fic or anything else Danganronpa, HMU on Twitter or tumblr (n00dl3gal).


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